The Tsundere Trainer
by HikariFate
Summary: And that's when, after using the methods mentioned above, the desired product is obtained without major complications. AU and OOC. NanoFate
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Well here I am again with another story and which is one of my personal favorites. Originally by **nosoyNeoCervantes**. I hope I do a good enough job on keeping the mood and humor, it's really hard, i swear, but still I love translating it. It is an AU and, in my opinion, a major OOC for some characters, but that's what makes it so good. Now, this story is like a roller coaster, going from really formal to really informal, and well, all the things that happen are just the same, so be aware of that. The whole story is on a first person POV, you'll know whose it is by the end of this chapter. Okay then go on and read!

**Disclaimer****: **I own nothing, nor the story or any characters used in it. They belong the their respectful owners.

**Warning: Please reading this for I won't ever write it again.** **The story is rated T but there is some usage of bad language and some offensive comment may be mention in it. I apologize before hand for any offense taken, and I mean it for the whole story not just this chapter. Also please be smart and do not try any of things mention in this story at home, okay? thank you :)**

* * *

My school is a very special one, since it is for people with a halfway decent economic power but that still maintain a degree of simplicity and friendship.

Only a handful of them are millionaires and only a handful of them are suffering from starvation, so the middle class tends to rule around here.

For as long as I can remember – yesterday – I've been part of this school, I've become pretty famous and the truth is that I'm quite popular among the lower classes, although by lower I mean the little ones, I have a huge mob of people between the seventh and tenth grade, I can recognize them individually, but place them all together and I don't know who belongs where.

My school is very religious, headed by a nun principal with a heart of gold of whom borrowers take advantage from, accompanied by many others whose hearts are more of steel than anything else and who seem to come straight out of hell.

I have good friends, I can't complain, many of them I know since childhood and our bonds are pretty strong.

We could define me as some girl with a perfect normal life, of course, we could do that, if I really was so…

I have a hobby, one I can't control, I think it started because maybe I watch too much TV as a baby or something, maybe it's the internet's fault, it may simply be that I think too much…

I'm a Tsundere Trainer…

And now you're probably thinking, and how the hell do you become a tsundere trainer? Well to tell you the truth, it's very easy, you just need talent and to follow a few steps:

For example, the first step is to identify the target, it turns out that unlike games and anime series, tsundere are rare in real life and the truth is that the majority of those who are born with the conditions, are lost in the middle of a society that doesn't stimulate them enough for their personalities to blossom.

It's more convenient to find the target at an early age, since as indicated from many studies at the University of Com-I-Ket in Japanland, the relationship between age and tsuderism is parabolic. Reaching its peak between adolescence and early adulthood and decreasing dramatically once the barrier of the thirties is crossed.

Now, this rough diamonds are not found in specific places, finding one depends solely on luck and how good your karma is in respect to your previous life, moreover, it isn't something you can find by talking to random people on the street, because obviously a tsundere won't show its tsundere characteristics in a first conversation, you need at least a month of continuous approaches and comprehensive monitoring to verify that the person you want to train has the tendency to become the desired product.

It should be pointed out that, although it's much easier to train someone born with a tsundere personality, it's also possible to create the personality from scratch, it's harder and it requires the person to be someone close to you – like your sister or niece – but the results are equally satisfactory.

After identifying the target, using different techniques that must be learned directly from a teacher – or the internet – we proceed to start the training program following the classic steps of the scientific method applied in a subtle way that doesn't awake suspicion.

Observation becomes one of the primary methods of acquiring information, since it's absolutely important to keep a mental record of the things of like or dislike of the test subject.

You can make mistakes, the important thing is to fix them before the project fails.

The primary rule when controlling tsundere, is based on breaking the balance between tsun-tsun and dere-dere, but bringing it back once the test is finish for the favorable situation.

Since I am only seventeen years old, I haven't had a very large number of projects:

My greatest pride is the only complete project I've accomplished, her name is Teana Lanster and I can say with no doubt that she is a tsundere.

I've known Teana since she was ten and I was twelve, it was one of those coincidences of life that his brother decided to put her in the same school and in the same transportation as me, which for me was a blessing and for her it was hell.

No, I didn't abuse her or anything, but I will say that she caught my attention when she sat beside me on the back of the bus while I talked with Signum about who knows what stupidity.

To make it simple, this girl gave off a tsundere aura to an extreme level, but she didn't act as such simply because her parents were good parents and had taught her to properly express her feelings, now, since I've always believed that this cannot be right and that a tsundere is the one who puts the flavor in a story, I told myself: "This is a job for… THE TSUNDERE TRAINER" and so it happened.

I became her friend and made sure to mess with her likes giving them a wrong meaning to make her embarrassed enough to be mentally encased, which allowed me to make her dere-dere blossom even though she tried to hide it in vain.

It may sound evilish when I say it like that, but everything is for a better world, I swear.

I've also had failed projects, the most notorious one is Vita Wolkenritter, I couldn't pay her the full attention needed and she ended up being a nasty mean girl who wants to solve everything with violence, despite being a good person, she doesn't have the characteristic blush of a tsundere that Teana does have and which is proof of a job well done.

The other thing that is important to know is when to retreat, about five years ago I found a very sweet girl named Caro Ru Lushe, who I attempted to turn into a tsundere just because the world is wonderful and I felt like it, but all my plans fell into the abyss for one simple reason…

Caro turned out to be a Moe girl.

Yes, moe, the rarest species you could ever find. When I learned about Caro's condition, I had no choice but to respect her as the endangered animal she was and set aside any kind of training to become her life protector.

Because, well, you can't mess with moe girls, if you try to transform a moe into a tsundere, the only thing you'll get will be a yandere and trust me, the last thing you want is to have any kind of contact with a yandere. In the worst case scenario she becomes a serial killer and sends you the heads of her victims inside pink cakes saying "I love you"… in the best case scenario she kills you first…

Anyway, you're born moe not made moe, besides, the relationship between age and moeism is exponential, so only good things can happen if you stay beside someone like Caro.

For all that I just said, where I obviously showed my extensive knowledge in the field of the control of personality, I can't come to understand how in my senior year of high school, eight months away from graduation, I just noticed the rough diamond that I had to my side.

While I was in the cafeteria, eating, sited beside Nanoha Takamachi, I decided to mess with her because I've always found that the faces she makes are too funny, and the reaction I got was one I didn't expect:

"You're… I'm not… you… argh!" Was what she said before taking the book she was reading and covering her face as she threw back her chair.

Then I noticed… the blush, the angry look, the embarrassment, the fact of not wanting to look at me in the eyes because now her mind was too cluttered to answer me with a coherent sentence…

Holy shit! How could this go unnoticed by me, Fate Testarossa Harlaown, the Tsundere trainer? How is it possible that this rough diamond was invisible to my burgundy critic eyes – of which I'm very proud – for so long?

So, as if my life depended on it, I dramatically pointed at Nanoha Takamachi and let out a yell so loud that it filled the cafeteria and attracted several glances…

"YOU'RE A TSUNDERE!"

* * *

**A/N: **Yay! I'm so excited with this story, definitely my favorite of the three i'm doing, though it's really hard to translate some things, but i'm really enjoying it and I hope you guys too. Definitely something different from the usual NanoFate but I really love it. I hope everyone likes it so far, it gets really good and funny later on.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave some feedback, tell me what you think about this story, and if I see that you guys are interested enough, I'll post the next chapter sooner, I already have it ready so it's in you guys hands to decide. See ya! :D


	2. Scenario

**A/N: **Hi everyone, so I just realized (well actually it was right after I posted the prologue) that I didn't give you any kind of info. right at the beginning so you guys would understand the story better, so I'm gonna do that right now, if most of you haven't already looked it up, anyway everything comes from the internet so this are not exactly my words:

**Tsundere: **refers to a character who "runs hot and cold" alternating between two distinct moods; tsun-tsun (aloof or irritated) and dere-dere (lovestruck). Characters who began with a harsh outgoing personality, but slowly revealed a soft and vulnerable interior over time.

**Yandere: **a character romantically obsessed with someone to the point of using violent means to get them in their arms.

**Moe: **characters who are always lovely, innocent, childish and obviously cute or hot/sexy.

I think this is mostly what you guys need to know, those are just brief explanations but you can look for more on your own if you want. Also let me know if there's anything else you'd wish to know. Now go on read, hope you like it.

* * *

**Analyzing the Scenario.**

"Okay, okay, I might have overdone it a little, I mean, I talked about a lot of people and didn't explain anything.

Well, I'm not going to explain all those people anyway cause I don't care about them, but the one I am going to talk about is my new target, Nanoha Takamachi.

Nanoha Takamachi, Nanoha for friends and White Devil for those who're not so much, is a girl like any other who arrived at my school during the first year of high school, her hair looks red when exposed to the sun and her eyes are blue, something rare among the Japanese, most of them are small, yellow, with usually dark hair and eyes… I don't even know how I dare say this, I'm also Japanese, born and raised here, with the only difference that I am from Italian decent and look obviously unlike most…

Anyway, going back to Nanoha Takamachi, I didn't see much of her during the first year since, honestly, from the moment she arrived and introduced herself, I don't remember anything until halfway through the second year when she ended up sitting next to me.

So starting from there, I can say that my time sitting with Nanoha was one of the funniest I can remember, Nanoha had an incredible ease to get angry and make such funny faces that I couldn't stop watching. We could say that one of my daily hobbies was to mess with her, to the point that every day before coming to school I would think about things to say to her so she would show me that face I liked so much… okay, not so much, in fact I never really thought of anything in the morning.

But what is true, is that the activity of messing with Nanoha became something so frequent that it turned into an unconscious act and to be honest, it ended up making her so angry that she would either, stop talking to me during the whole day or hit me in the arm in a not so subtly way.

So I was really surprised when, just at the beginning of the third year and when the teacher had said we could sit wherever we wanted, that I found Nanoha by my side once again.

"Umm… Nanoha, what are you doing here?" that's what I asked her, at that moment I thought that she must be some kind of masochist for wanting to sit next to me knowing that I would obviously bother her. But it seemed that with my question she had just come to notice the magnitude of her actions and started looking everywhere for an empty seat… bad idea, they were all taken…

"Look, I didn't want to sit next to you, I just wanted to be near Hayate," Hayate is a friend of both of us. "And it turns out, I didn't notice you were on the other side." … now that I think about it, that was such a horrible tsundere excuse, I can't believe I was so blind.

Staying a little longer on this reasoning, I remember that if she would have wanted, she could have sat in the seat that was behind and still be close enough to Hayate to gossip with her during class, which proves that deep down she wanted to sit where she sat in the first place… these girls are so interesting.

In the end, I ended next to the window, to the left of Nanoha, Hayate on her right, Arisa and Suzuka were in front of us and next to them, Yuuno. This is the pack of humans that I have as friends, good people, I won't deny it…

How I became friends with these people is relatively easy, we went to the same school and talked. They are those typical school friends who at the end of your school days will still remain for a lifetime, much more reliable than the people you can meet in college and a thousand times less competitive than the people at work.

These are the people with whom Nanoha interacts every day, her reactions are different with each one and every single one of them is important, if you're planning on training a tsundere…

We can say that the person with whom she gets along best is with Hayate Yagami, this hyperactive girl born to be a professional swindler or the leader of a Hollywood showbiz TV show, she knows every rumor there is and the one she doesn't, she makes up. She's related to the Wolkenritter family in who knows what way, she has never wanted to say and Signum won't tell me either. What I think, is that they're some kind of mafia related to Hayate's uncle, that's for sure, I mean, the girl lives alone and she's practically a millionaire, that can't be normal.

Even so, Hayate only messes with those who are not her friends, with Nanoha and the others she's quite friendly, always with that look of "I know what you did last summer". She likes to read and is an undercover freak obsessed with cosplay, not that I blame her, many of us are undercover freaks in this country…

Then we have Suzuka Tsukimira, bookworm, millionaire, has more cats than a crazy old lady and drinks English tea, a princess taken out of a nineteenth century nobility tale. I'm sure she'll end up married to someone out of convenience and then she'll commit suicide as a form of rebellion against the constant slavery of her life that her father imposed on her… nah, lie, she has never complaint about her life and enjoys sharing her fortune with the needy. She befriended Nanoha because they're both fans of that novel about sparkling vampires written by someone who I will not name for copyrights issues. The two would count the remaining days until the movies came out, torturing Hayate and Arisa, who practically pulled their hair out every time Nanoha and Suzuka got into their "Obsessive and Compulsive Fan for No Apparent Reason Mode."

And now that I've mentioned her, it's time to talk about Arisa Bannigs, she's a millionaire tsundere who I didn't train or anything, she arrived like that on her own since birth and I found her because I probably was a very good person in my previous life. Her father owns a video games company and I… I love Arisa and Arisa's contacts, more precisely the games that Arisa's contacts give Arisa and that she then invites me to play in her huge house with a huge screen with awesome sound effects and butler included…

Moral of the day… have millionaire friends.

The only one left is Yuuno Scrya, but I don't want to analyze him cause, let's say, we have a somehow embarrassing history, well it doesn't matter, he isn't even that close to Nanoha…

The environment in which Nanoha operates is precisely, the school, thanks to Hayate I know that her family owns a bakery where she works when she needs money.

Nanoha is a good girl, good student like any tsundere – yes, Arisa and Teana are good students too – she takes notes in class and underlines the important things in books, unlike me who uses most of the time in class to draw or look out the window imagining how good it would be to fly through the sky with a scythe and catch the bad guys…

She has a tendency for the Humanistic Field, likes to write and spends most of her time writing things that she never shows me because she says I'll bother her, which is true.

And this, my friends, is all I know about Nanoha Takamachi. With this meager amount of info, I can't even train a bug, which is why from now on, all my attention will be directed to this girl."

"Testarossa, you called me at three in the morning just to tell me that damn speech?" said the voice not so friendly of my dear friend Signum.

"Signum, you could always be a good friend and give me some moral support." It's not like you have more important things to do anyway.

"Go to hell, I have to get up in four hours to go to college and you pop out of nowhere to come up with this nonsense." Well, maybe you do have important things to do.

"But Signum, with whom am I supposed to discuss my plan of action then?"

"Go bother Hayate, she's a freak just like you."

"I can't tell Hayate!" Of course I can't, I need Nanoha to keep behaving naturally, if Hayate finds out about my intentions she'll surely tell Nanoha and then…

"I'm hanging up…"

"NO! Wait! SIGNUM!"… She hung up… ah, well it doesn't matter, I don't need her, I have a lot to plan…

* * *

Despite having slept only two hours, I must say I feel splendid, that myth of needing to sleep eight hours a day is for babies.

My day starts quite early, at six o'clock I have to get up to use the bathroom and take a shower, after I come out, I go to the kitchen where my mother is making breakfast; then Chrono gets up, the three of us have breakfast together and at sever Linith appears to take me to school.

Now, don't give that thing of "You're seventeen years old, why the hell do you take the school bus?" well, I have my reasons. Have you ever been on the subway in Japan? Have you ever been touched by a pervert during the rush hour? Have you ever passed out in the middle of a busy station and have been taken to a shabby hospital? No? Me neither, but I have no intentions on making it happen so I'd rather go in the comfort of a small school bus in the morning surrounded by kids who are either sleeping or playing… although in the afternoon I go home alone in the public bus, of course that at that time everything is emptier.

As always, Linith appeared at seven o'clock, I got in and found my failed project already there, Vita Wolkenritter, from whom I received a grunt in greeting; it was expected, Vita doesn't like getting up early, she's the first one to get picked up since the Wolkenritter live in the land of far far away and therefore she's always so grumpy in the mornings… it's also my fault for not training her as I should have, but I won't take responsibility until I'm over 18.

After me, the bus picks up a few kids, then Teana – who says she continues to use the bus for the same matter of comfort, but it's totally obvious that she does it because Subaru does it too – then there's Caro, with whom I like to talk to get my daily dose of moe, another bunch of kids and finally, Subaru.

Sometimes we pick up Erio, when his parents can't take him to school…

Amid the collection of minors, when Caro wasn't talking to me or when Subaru wasn't annoying Teana, I had enough time to organize in my head the procedure I would use to train Nanoha Takamachi.

Getting a Tsundere from Nanoha would be one of the most difficult tasks I would ever face, I had two obstacles that made things difficult; time and age.

If in the eight months that I have left, I didn't leave Nanoha tsundere enough, it was quite possible that all my efforts would be lost by the end of the year because then Nanoha's habits would adapt to a college life, then to a job, perhaps a family… and a Tsundere is no longer purely Tsundere by the time they are ready to start a family.

Anyway, I got to school early as usual, I sat in my seat next to the window like every day and waited patiently for Nanoha to arrive.

Tsundere Training, Phase 1, Day 1, is about to begin!

"Nanoha-chan has caught a cold, so she'll be absent the next three days."

GOD DAMN IT!

* * *

**A/N: **Yay, so that was the second/first chapter. The last sentence was way funnier in spanish but I couldn't quite find a good translation for it (not like it could be translated in the first place) so that's as good as I could make it, as I said before the vocad is gonna be a bit problematic in this story, but anyway, I know that not many things are happening right now, but they'll start on the next chapter then we'll get some action going. So yeah, thanks for reading, hope you liked it, and please review. :)


	3. Observable Confusion

**Creating an Observable Situation.**

Finally here we are, after three days, six hours of sleep and the feeling that I'll die if I close my eyes, it's time to begin the periodic and detailed observation of Nanoha Takamachi.

Let's try again what I did in the previous chapter:

I got to school early as usual, I sat in my seat next to the window like every day and waited patiently for Nanoha to arrive…

Tsundere Training, Phase 1, Day 1, is about to begin!

GOD PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE TELL ME SHE'S NOT COMING! Please, please, please, please… I don't hear anything… no one's saying anything… well… Hallelujah! I'll sit here and wait patiently like a lioness waiting for her zebra… and what kind of comparison was that? Sleep deprivation must be affecting me…

Nanoha's coming, Nanoha's coming, Nanoha's coming…

"Fate-chan…"

"NANOHA!" Oh, no, it's Hayate, what the hell do you want Hayate? Don't you see I'm doing something extremely important for a better world here?... wait a sec… could it be that… "HAYATE!? Nanoha's coming, right?"

"Hi Hayate, my dear friend, how have you been lately? Would you like us to talk about life like normal friends do?" The sarcastic tone she used made me realize that maybe it hadn't been very polite to yell at her like that, Hayate is my friend after all.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. How have you been?"

"I forgive you just 'cause I'm very nice and I like you." Look how grateful I am, "I've been fine Fate-chan, at least better than you." So it is noticeable that I only sleep two hours a day… maybe that thing about needing to sleep eight hours is not such a myth and not such a thing just for babies as I'd thought.

While Hayate talked of who knows what with Arisa who'd just arrived, I simply stayed there looking at the door waiting for my Tsundere apprentice to arrive…

I wonder if Nanoha is Tsundere because she was born with the tendency or because she was raised that way. Actually, I hope it's the second option, that way if I fail with her I can try with her daughter. Although, it also depends on the father… if the father knows nothing about tsunderism it makes things difficult… unless the man dies "accidentally" before the birth of the child, then Nanoha would end up being a single Mother…

About five minutes before the bell rang to signal the beginning of classes, Nanoha crossed the threshold of the door with the reddest nose you could ever imagine, so much that Rudolph the reindeer would look like the white nosed reindeer next to her. (bad joke, Fate, bad joke)

She walked blowing her nose a few times, and sat down with a sigh that didn't go unnoticed by any of the five that were close to her.

"Nanoha-chan…" Suzuka started talking. "Are you really in conditions to come today?" Suzuka is so melodramatic, if she couldn't have come she wouldn't have.

"If's dofing, Suzuka-chan" Oh, my god! Since when is Nanoha twangy? "If doezn't hurt adymore, I dust have a sduffy dose." Fate, control yourself, she's sick, don't mess with her right now, remember that sickness is a period of Dere-dere weakness you have to take advantage of.

"Nanoha-chan, can you say peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers?" It was Hayate who said that, not me, and partly I'm glad, because the murderous glare that Nanoha gave her the second after seemed like it could froze any teenage boy looking at playboy magazines.

Not being able to help it, Nanoha the twangy pulled out a roll of toilet paper, one of those with double layer, and started to separate it until she got two towers of paper ready and willing to face the army of mucus that left her nose every three seconds.

The poor thing makes me feel bad, maybe I should leave the Tsundere training for another time…

1… 2… 3…

Okay, we're in another time, let's get the action starting!

For those who want to learn how to observe a Tsundere, I'll say that it's not as simple as sitting down and staring like an idiot, no, an observation means using every sense to get to know the target as, or even more than, oneself.

Nor can you start an observation just like that, every Tsundere, even the ones who don't know they are, have a basic mood, which is neither Tsu-Tsun nor Dere-Dere, and which depends entirely on the personality of each person. Nanoha's basic mood is nothing more than being the nice girl who cares about her friends and is happy with her family, always willing to help, having good intentions, blah, blah, boring perfect girl, etc, etc.

This is the state we are NOT interested in because everyone knows it, and it's the default state in which the Tsundere wakes up every morning. That's why, every day, as early as possible, this state must be unbalanced, in order to achieve making the target get defensive, and therefore, she can't return to the equilibrium state during the whole time they are in the presence of whoever caused the disturbance.

Only one person can make a Tsundere break its equilibrium state quickly, and that person is… drum roll… The Love Interest!

But wait a minute! How is Fate Testarossa Harlaown going to break the equilibrium of Nanoha Takamachi if she doesn't know who the mysterious love interest is? Well folks, that's why I'm a Tsundere trainer, read and learn:

_First, you must capture the attention of the target, it shouldn't be something neither extravagant nor stupid since we don't want to get her mad at us or to treat us like idiots, it has to be something that raises an aura of mystery. A Tsundere is a paranoid prey, anything mysterious around them makes them think it has to do with them. And there is nothing more mysterious than a simple laugh looking at the horizon._

With all my charms, I put my face in the palm of my hand and looked out the window with a mocking smile, then I remember a joke and the smile turns into a small laugh that I "tried" to hide covering my mouth delicately.

"Whad coul be zo fudy?" Bingo! The fact that Nanoha is sick makes her more paranoid than a normal Tsundere, which is even better for me.

_Once we make sure the target has all her attention on us, we move to confirming her extreme suspicious saying anything that might be fairly related to the current situation, and when I say anything, it means that anything works._

I turned to look at Nanoha slowly, adding intrigue and anxiety. I could see her eyes demanded answers. I, obviously, lied.

"I was remembering when Chrono put on a clown nose." Which would be translated in Nanoha's mind as: 'You have a clown nose that makes me laugh and I can't help it because I've already imagined you on a monocycle, juggling and saying jokes with that twangy voice.'

"Zo ma dose makez you daugh becauze if dooks like a clowd dose, I cad't bedieve you'd zo evidy insedsifive like do be zo idcodsiderate wit a pedson…" She ran out of air, I wonder if she needs an inhaler. "… ready you dod't deseve do be ma frien." … Okay… I didn't understand a word of what she said but I'll assume that is was what I thought it would.

_Now it's when the whole thing starts to become unbalanced, the Tsundere starts to turn its trend to tsun-tsun mode, threatening to hit you if you say peep or telling you to shut up even though you haven't said anything, this stage is the most dangerous one and it requires a quick action to break the balance successfully. You just have to remember that a Tsundere is only observable when she is disoriented and in dere-dere mode despite wanting to be in tsun-tsun mode._

Next action, I stood from my desk and place my hand on Nanoha's shoulder, I said with the most mocking tone I could manage. "I'm going to the bathroom, try not to fill my square meter with the green army, okay?" Partly I'm grateful Nanoha's sick, under normal circumstances, she would have surely stood up to beat me up.

Satisfied with the face Nanoha made, which showed all the pent up anger she had against me, I left the class and as expected, I didn't go to the bathroom, but rather I went to buy a bottle of water to the cafeteria. Why? Well, simple answer. This wonderful bottle of water would make Nanoha enter in observable confusion and remain like that for the rest of the day.

When I returned to the classroom, I could hear Yuuno telling Nanoha to relax; I couldn't help laughing thinking about how pissed she would be and that she probably was taking it all out on my poor nerd friend. But well, the show must go on, so I went back inside with my head held high only to find the face of hatred of my pre-tsundere.

I approached her quietly, extending the moment and enjoying every second of glory. And, when I was at a decent enough distance so she could try to start yelling at me, I put the water at a visible height and said calmly:

"Here, if you get dehydrated you'll never get better." And I left the water on her desk, sitting in my place afterwards, just when the teacher walked in.

The change in her face was instant, seeing me worrying about her was enough to get her out of place, causing any thought or thing she wanted to yell at me to get lost in her throat. She looked at the water as if it was from another world, probably trying to understand what the hell just happened.

The first morning class went by normally, as expected, Nanoha didn't even dare to touch the water bottle, doing it would meant she wasn't mad at me when she was supposed to be angry for whatever reason was on her Tsundere mind.

Acting Dere-Dere despite not wanting to, this is the state of Observable Confusion.

_The State of Observable Confusion, named simply because the target is so disoriented, that her feelings about things are exaggerated, immediately leading us to be able to notice the things she likes or dislikes._

_Not only that is its utility, also it allows us to get an idea of how the Tsundere will behave during the training process, allowing us to create a plan of attack appropriate for each situation._

I spent the rest of the day watching Nanoha discreetly. I saw how she calmed considerably when "talking" to Suzuka, how her mood was different when Hayate grabbed her like her "new twangy power" as she called it, and the best of all, how she didn't even dare to look at me in the eyes again during the whole day while pretending to be mad.

Within a week, no, in five days, I'll have a complete report on Nanoha… when that happens, I'll be able to mold her my way, she'll become my experiment, I'll manage to turn her into the desired product no matter what or I'll stop calling myself Fate Testarossa Harlaown.

To all this, I wonder why Nanoha came as twangy as she is considering it was obvious that both me and Hayate wouldn't let it go just like that…

"Attention class, we'll begin the Biology test."

Uh-oh…

* * *

**A/N: **Yay, finally we're getting some action, it's kinda hard to picture Fate the way she is in this story, right? it's so not like her, but there's always a reason for everything and we'll learn why she behaves that way later on in the story, so if you want to find out then you better stick with me all the way through it. Also some of you said Nanoha was more of a yandere than a tsundere, and it's true somehow, although I actually see her more like a tsundere, I think a yandere is way too extreme, i don't think Nanoha would ever become a psychopath serial killer, would she? Anyway, I hope Nanoha's dialogues were good enough, if you didn't understand them, it doesn't really matter cause they weren't meant to be understandable anyway. I have to thank the author, **nosoyNeoCervantes**, for his help on how to write them. Well, with that said, thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it and please review! :D


	4. Completed Report

**IDENTIFICATION DOCUMENT OF THE TSUN-DERE SOCIAL ANDMINISTRATION BUREAU (TSAB)**

**Name: Nanoha Takamachi  
****Age: 17 years old  
****Tsundere I.D: 028496  
****Basic State: Prototype Boring Perfect Girl (PBPG)  
****Trainer: Fate Testarossa Harlaown  
****Trainer I.D: 001893  
****Love Interest: Unknown**

* * *

GENERAL MODIFICATION:

-Target on convalescent state.

-Observations made from Monday-Friday, from the 0800 to the 1700 hours.

-Added observations obtained through tracking in social networks. (Facebook)

* * *

**INTRODUCTION:**

The target has been found in one of many schools in Uminari City, the discovery occurred in the cafeteria after the girl showed a behavior specifically tsundere. A thorough analysis of the knowledge obtained proved that she is suitable for training, thus, we proceeded to obtain the state of Observable Confusion, of which notes are to be archived through the following report.

* * *

**DAY 1: WEDNESDAY**

**08:00 – Classroom.**

The procedure of Observable Confusion was successful, the target was in a clear mental instability that allowed a constant observation of the attitudes of Nanoha Takamachi. There were no problems that contained a threat to the physical integrity of the trainer, everything was carried out normally.

The first study period was on mathematics, the concentration of the target on the subject was not affected, the questions were answered correctly and a test was given, the target obtained a mark above the average.

The water was not touched even once.

Nanoha did not go to the bathroom during this time.

**10:00 – Outside.**

The target went to the bathroom right after the break bell rang, she reappeared with a no so small amount of toilet paper, prepared especially for covering her nasal needs.

Hayate Yagami made sure that Nanoha ran out of air every time she tried to say something, Yuuno Scrya was kind enough to offer some of the orange he was eating, the orange was accepted and taken to the mouth of the target, who showed an immediate sense of pleasure when swallowing. Sense of pleasure which brought Hayate Yagami to say comments, not very appropriate, about the target and her possible sexual relationship with oranges. Blush level three. Afterwards came a persecution of Hayate Yagami throughout the school, which ended in the classroom with Nanoha needing to recover the lost air.

With the apparent lack of breath, Nanoha was about to grab the water. The watchful eyes of the trainer prevented her from doing so, her lips remained dry the rest of the break.

**10:30 – Second Class Period.**

Art class with the possibility of working outside, free choice drawing, the target was concentrated on drawing a squirrel passing by (investigate in some future project why there is a squirrel in Japan). Being outdoors breathing fresh air while painting, made Nanoha Takamachi smile, she talked to all her friends about some new thing or the usual, no one made a comment regarding her twangy state.

Nanoha Takamachi draws horribly, her happiness collapsed along with whatever "thing" she had drawn. (It was not a squirrel or even be called a mammal)

Scheduled attempt to take the water away, not achieved because Nanoha took the bottle away from reach as soon she saw the intentions implied:

"Nanoha, if you're not going to drink the water, I'll drink it myself." Memorized sentence, only used to verify that the state of Observable Confusion is still there.

"You cad't dake back whad you gife od didn'd you gife id do me?" She proceeded to putting the water in her bag. "I'll dridk id whed am dhisty." She stood up and looked away angry, rotating her head in that tsundere way registered in the files of every Tsundere Trainer.

State of Observable Confusion checked, the observation continues.

**12:00 – Outside**

Second break past normally, no observation worth making about Nanoha… Arisa broke the nose of a guy who tried to approach Suzuka with the excuse that he "only wanted her for her money", any complications were avoided with Arisa due to the imminent release of new computer entertainment systems.

**12:15 – Third Class Period.**

I forgot I had a Biology test, so I used the five minutes before the test to sit as close as possible to Nanoha and try to copy anything that I could see, but the Tsundere probably thought I was stalking, so she didn't let me see even a single damn question.

I would have copied Arisa, but she was sent to the principal's office for getting into fights again…

**13:30 – Cafeteria.**

Arisa returned from the principal's office with a note in which they called her parents, she proceeded to sit next to Nanoha during lunch, judging by the amount of food that Nanoha brought it was concluded that she was on a diet, it was necessary to clarify why so:

"How can you survive with just that?" I asked pointing to a simple peace of fish.

"Dode of youd buzidess." She said with a hollow voice.

Ouch…

**16:00 – Classroom.**

End of school, start of club activities, Arisa and Suzuka left to their school for millionaires, Yuuno went his way, Nanoha, Hayate and myself walked to the bus stop.

Nanoha carried the bottle of water in her hand, Hayate just talked about how hard it was to make a costume for the next event she would attend.

**17:00 – Bus Stop.**

I got in quietly up to the back seat by the window and looked as Nanoha and Hayate got away.

Nanoha drank the water before the bus disappeared around the corner.

* * *

**DAY 2: THURSDAY.**

**08:00 – Classroom.**

Nanoha's Twangy Power annulled.

State of Observable Confusion achieved through Yuuno Scrya. He was arguing with Nanoha about cultural information, and Nanoha lost the fight simply because the man had read the entire Wikipedia.

Her annoyance at been mentally defeated made her especially hostile to Yuuno, most of her attention was directed to throwing sarcastic remarks at the boy, who downplayed them with disdain.

**10:00 – Outside.**

Excess of Tsun-Tsun by the target due to the constant fight of intelligence with Yuuno, a measure to stop the fight was applied:

"Nanoha, Yuuno, don't make war, MAKE LOVE!"

The trainer had to go to the nurse to get some ice on their face so it wouldn't swell up.

**11:30 – Second Class Period.**

The maneuver code G-0629 was preformed, also known as "Give Pity", used since ancient times to obtain dere-dere after a blast of tsun-tsun.

We proceeded to steal a piece of gauze, tape and bandages from the nurse, then the trainer went to the bathroom and prepared their face with a sort of patch that covered the entire cheek and made it seem like they had practically being punched, situation that never happened, since it was just a slap, which, although painful, did not made further damage.

Entrance to the classroom after ten minutes of mental preparation to get into character.

"Harlaown-san! What happened to your face?" The yell of the teacher caught the attention of the whole class, and of course the target's.

"Nothing, Sensei, I just hit myself with the door." A disguised glance was directed at the target, one only she could notice. "I guess sometimes I just do things without thinking." Nanoha looked away, G-0629 successful.

**12:00 – Outside.**

The excess of glances directed towards the alleged injured caused Nanoha Takamachi to not dare lead hers towards me. As the manual for this maneuver indicates, I just smiled to anyone who asked about what had happened to my face, to then explain the small accident with the door and how it had been my fault and no one else's.

Every time I said it was my fault, the discomfort in the target was noticeable.

**13:30 – On the way to the cafeteria.**

Nanoha pulled me away from everyone else saying she needed to talk to me; we start mental preparations to make observations.

"Mm… Fate-chan… I…" She's out of words, it's taking her a lot to think of what to say. "I mean… you…" Seems like it's coming. "That's what you get for going around saying stupid things!"… I should have known, it was obvious she wouldn't say she was sorry…

Nanoha left without another word, it was decided to leave her alone on her moment of indecision for the rest of the day, until she can't take it any more or until the trainer gets bored, whichever comes first.

**17:00 – Bus Stop.**

Bored trainer, Nanoha is a tough nut to crack, a very stubborn Tsundere, but nothing that a simple catalyst can't fix, so before getting on the bus, I made sure to look at her in the eyes and tell her with the usual fake honesty:

"Sorry, Nanoha, I shouldn't have said something like that." Blush Level 1, enough to get on the bus with a smile. Tomorrow are expected dere-dere attitudes.

* * *

**DAY 3: FRIDAY**

**08:00 – Classroom.**

"Does your face still hurt?" The first words from Nanoha Takamachi, which proves that A: she was thinking about it all night, or B: she was thinking and feeling guilty all night.

"Nah, I'm a tough girl."

"Yeah, sure…" The voice used implies that she does not believe a single word, even so, the target seemed to be in good spirits. Classified studies indicate that after a great deal of guilt it is not necessary to apply the observable state of confusion, since the Tsundere will be on Tsundere mode by default.

**10:00 – Outside.**

"Want some cookies, Fate-chan?" Nanoha Takamachi's offer seemed too rehearsed to be natural (duh). My trainer's instinct told me that this needed further investigation.

"Are they from your family's bakery?" Something told me it wasn't supposed to be like that, but I asked anyway.

"Yes, they are, my father made more than necessary so I took all the leftovers and brought them to share." Right, and I have a talking dog.

Nanoha's position was completely destroyed with that simple sentence, simply because in a bakery they never make more cookies than necessary, that is not possible, everything is sold, and besides, if it were to be true, considering that in a place like that they prepare large quantities, the "leftovers" should be noticeably more than the handful that Nanoha was offering.

The natural theory is that Nanoha herself made those cookies as an apology for hitting me so hard.

This seemed like a good opportunity to test the training method that I had planned for Nanoha Takamachi.

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry." Her face changed, she wasn't expecting to be rejected.

"It's a new recipe, are you sure you don't want to try them?" Leftover cookies from a new recipe? Nanoha needs to learn more about marketing if she wants to lie.

"I've tried things from Midori-ya before, I'm sure they're just as delicious, besides, I really don't feel like eating. Why don't you give them to Yuuno or Suzuka? They love cookies." She'll refuse, those cookies were not made for either of them.

"But I want you to try them, you always give constructive criticism on these things."

"I don't think my opinion is necessary, I mean, they are already on sale, right? That's why they're leftovers."

"…" Silence… this is the moment to reach the breaking point.

"You made them." It wasn't a question.

"What?! N-No!" Glorious stuttering.

"You made them, to apologize for hitting me in the face."

"Th-That's not true! A-And the face thing was your fault!" Glorious blush.

"Aww, how cute, I knew that deep down you had a sweet heart." I accompanied this sentence with a gentle squeeze on the arm of the target.

"Shut up! And if you don't want the damn cookies, then I won't give them to you, period." Nanoha proceeded to grabbing her cookies and her humanity to retreat with a firm step.

**10:30 – Second Class Period.**

Nothing worth saying about the target, but it is worth getting recorded the song that Hayate Yagami sang in the middle of class to annoy Arisa:

"Look at that blonde walking down the street

Leaving black eyes for no reason at all

When taking her dogs out

Not even the girl scouts

Dare to stick around…

We were in PE class, Arisa took revenge when playing dodge ball.

**12:00 – Outside.**

The target made sure to offer cookies to everyone, absolutely everyone, except, obviously the trainer. Childish attitude that was expected, so the only measure taken was to smile at Nanoha nicely, so she would get angrier and yell things like the following:

"Aren't they really good?!"

"Thanks for accepting them!"

And the most repeated, blatantly directed at me:

"Of course I DID NOT MAKE THEM!"

**13:50 – Out Of School**

On Fridays school ends earlier, because the nuns hold their nun events on this day. No student complains about it, they consider it useful to have the whole Friday afternoon for themselves.

Obviously it's a good opportunity to take advantage from, according to the Tsundere Trainer code:

"Nanoha, I think you convinced me," I told her while walking to the bus stop with the whole pack.

"I convinced you? Of what?"

"I think I'll go now to Midori-ya and buy some cookies." And thus, the tsundere fell into tsun-tsun desperation.

"You can't," Nanoha said with a dark aura surrounding her.

"Why not?"

"W-well because… because… umm… whatever, Shut Up!" I could have continued with the act, but I received an urgent message from my mother on my cell phone, so I had to excuse myself. It's irrelevant anyway, the training hasn't even started properly.

* * *

**DAY 4: SATURDAY.**

The urgent message from Admiral Mother ( affectionate name specially for Lindy when she gets into authoritarian mode) was to scold me and give me a hell of a speech because of a Chemistry grade I forgot to show her.

For this reason the trainer was forced to spend the whole weekend stuck at home, grounded without any kind of game, manga or experiment.

However, the observation was continued through social networks just to know what Nanoha Takamachi did during the weekend.

* * *

LIST OF STATUS OF NANOHA TAKAMACHI ON FACEBOOK:

**-New recipes now on Midori-ya  
**Hayate Yagami, Yuuno Scrya and 6 other friends like this.

-Hayate Yagami: :3 Nanoha-chaan you have to invite us!

-Nanoha Takamachi: You know I can't do that!

-Suzuka Tsukimura: well, I'll pay xD  
Hayate Yagami likes this.

-Hayate Yagami: Suzuka-chan I loooooove you º(w)º

-Suzuka Tsukimura: in exchange you'll have to come with me to watch THAT movie

-Hayate Yagami: Suzuka-chan… I don't love you anymore…

* * *

**-Did you like the cookies?  
**Like this

-Fate T. Harlaown: yeahhhh! They were the best of the world!

-Nanoha Takamachi: idiot ¬¬ you didn't eat any

-Fate T. Harlaown: you never offered me

-Nanoha Takamachi: I did and you rejected them because you weren't hungry.

-Fate T. Harlaown: but later you didn't offer them again, it's not like I wasn't gonna be hungry the whole day… I wanted to try the cookies made by Nanoha -.-

-Nanoha Takamachi: I didn't make them!

* * *

**-I'm boooored**

-Fate T. Harlaown: make some cookies

-Nanoha Takamachi: ¬¬

* * *

**DAY 5: SUNDAY.**

This day was used to make a complete summary of the observations of Nanoha Takamachi:

The main observation is that Nanoha is stubborn, horribly stubborn, she will never admit the things she does, especially if she is mentally cornered. Which, used wisely, can bring embarrassment blushes and big progress in her training. Plus:

1)Nanoha is a good person, she'll feel responsible even of stranger.  
2)Nanoha is a horrible drawer.  
3)Nanoha is a good student.  
4)Nanoha doesn't stand very much the jokes that are addressed to her body.  
5)Nor the ones related to her sex life.  
6)Nanoha's gaze when she's angry is frightening, very frightening.  
7)When Nanoha is out of words, or her words are not been listened to, she uses violence.  
8)Nanoha hates losing.  
9)Hayate Yagami knows Nanoha's sensitive points.  
10)Yuuno Scrya is Nanoha's discussion target.  
11)Fate Testarossa Harlaown is, usually, Nanoha's hitting target.  
12)Nanoha sucks at lying.  
13)Nanoha is ready for the Tsundere training.

* * *

CONCLUSION:

The method used shall be mental manipulation along with a few forced favorable situations.

Estimated Training Time: expected to be eight months.

Main Obstacles: none for now.

Main Advantages: the lack of love interest will created conditions favorable to anyone.

* * *

**This document belongs exclusively to the Tsun-Dere Social Administration Bureau (TSAB). Its sale or copy is prohibited in any part of the country.**

* * *

"Fate, what are you doing?" called a voice from downstairs.

"I'm studying, mom!"... I'm studying…

* * *

**T/N: **Hello people, well I just noticed that during the whole time I've translated stories, I've been writing A/N instead of T/N (translator notes) and only until recently I actually thought about it and realized that I'm not supposed to be writing A/N since I'm not the author, maybe that's why some people keep on sending reviews as if I were the author, so from now on I'll write T/N instead, to avoid any kind of confusion, although it's been quite some and it's just a letter so who cares, but anyway moving to other matters.

This chapter was a bit hard to translate because of its formal language, it's supposed to be a report after all, right?, so I can't really complain. Next chapter is going to be normal again and we'll have some good things happening, just to give a hint, it'll be dealing with Valentine's Day, yay, what is crazy Fate going to do? I know some of you don't quite like this Fate, and think Hayate would be a better tsundere trainer, but Hayate has her own role to play, and you'll see some of it next chapter, also she's kind of a bit responsible for why Fate is the way she is, but as i already said, we'll find more about that later on. So anyway I think I've said enough. Thanks for reading and please review. ;)


	5. Mission: Valentine's Day

"… it was then that I realized the truth, that her breath in my ear, my hands on her body, the rocking of our hips, everything, was just a dream… THE END!"

"Yagami-san"

"Yes?"

"To the Principal's office!"

**First Mission: The mess of Valentine's Day. (which wasn't much of a mess until Fate Testarossa Harlaown screwed up)**

One of the great questions of humanity is why every Monday Hayate Yagami is sent to the principal's office. Last week was because she flipped over the nun's cross in the chapel, the one before that was because she was selling chocolates with alcohol in them, the most remembered last month was when she freed all the lab frogs. And today, she had the brilliant idea of saying she wanted to participate in the school's writer's competition and that she wanted both the teacher and the class to give some feedback on her work.

Of course nobody objected, so Hayate came forward and began reading her story out loud. It started normally, it was about a girl, a novice, who was blind and met another novice with whom she created an unbreakable bond of friendship, so unbreakable, that they both ended lying in the same bed doing things that novices aren't supposed to do; if you know what I mean… the point is, the teacher almost had a heart attack, some students ended with nosebleeds and Hayate Yagami was sent to the principal's office, again.

She always does it, every Monday, and no one knows why the hell she hasn't been expelled, then the rumors start about the Wolkeritter mafia or that she is the secret lover of someone very powerful.

It has nothing to do with a Tsundere, the only good thing about Hayate being sent to the office, is that I'm left with nothing getting in my way so Nanoha pays me enough attention in class.

And speaking of Nanoha, there is a very particular and interesting event coming up this month, in two more weeks, it's Valentine's Day. The glorious moment in which I hope Nanoha gives chocolates to someone and says, "I felt sorry for you," or "They're only obligation chocolates,"… yes, it would be something worth recording…

Of course that during Valentine's Day I will not only worry about Nanoha, Teana is also going to give me a couple of dere-dere moments when giving chocolates to Subaru and saying something like, "d-don't even think I made it for you, i-it's just the leftover cho-chocolate," and then Subaru will start jumping of happiness, Teana will blush and I'm going to be grinning stupidly for the rest of the day.

So, using this opportunity, I think it's time to start Nanoha's training, and my first mission will be: making sure Nanoha has tsundere reactions when giving her chocolates!

It may sound simple, but in reality the base of a Tsundere training it's like Pavlov's dog experiment where he conditioned the animal's learning to drooling. Is the same case with the Tsundere training, because well you see, a human being is not a predestined organism, it doesn't have a innate personality, there are only trends that are solidified through positive and negative reinforcements. So, the only thing that we, Tsundere trainers, do is convince the target – subconsciously – that being a though girl on the outside and a sweetheart on the inside is right.

And that just sounded like I treat people like animals… actually I just hope that no human rights defender takes it to heart one day…

Anyway, I have to convince Nanoha that giving her chocolates on Valentine's Day in that way is THE perfect way to do it, which is why we conducted a full report on Nanoha. It's now when everything becomes useful.

The strategy I have planned is quite simple. I'll take advantage of the fact that Nanoha is stubborn and sucks at lying, to corner her about Valentine's Day… it also helps that she's fully convinced that every time I go talk to her it is to annoy her.

Although now that I think about it, who will Nanoha give chocolates to? If I remember correctly the previous years… and it's not like I remember much, she only brought mass-produced chocolates from Midori-ya, which she had asked her mother to make so she could share them at school. Which, obviously, is not what I expect, I need it to be a personal chocolate, with feelings, not the crap that anyone can give of, I need it to be made by her….

And if there's no love interest, how the hell is there going to be a Valentine's Day?

Damn, what am I going to do? no matter how good of a Tsundere trainer I am, I don't have the time to make Nanoha consider me her best friend in life and make me some chocolates… I also don't think it would work with Hayate, perhaps Yuuno would be easier… wait, what if Nanoha already has someone she likes? That the love interest is unknown to me doesn't mean it doesn't exist, maybe it's not in this school…

I only have one way of finding out…

"Nanoha, is there someone you like?" yes, it was straightforward, but what else could I do? There's no time!

"Excuse me?" Nanoha said clearly confused, she really didn't expect this on a Monday morning.

"Well you know, Valentine's Day's coming, and it came to my mind just like one of those coincidences of life," it's not like I'm stalking you or anything. "If you had someone special in mind."

She seemed to think about it for a moment, as if trying to remember if she had someone important in her life.

"Not really, there's no one who I want to give chocolates to on Valentine's Day." This is bad, this is VERY bad, it really doesn't help me that Nanoha has no love life…

"No one? Really?" come on, think about it a bit more, give me something.

"No one." Great. I'm sorry god, I know that at some point I promised I wouldn't manipulate people's feelings again, but if this girl has no love life, then I'm going to make her one myself.

"You're not even going to give chocolates to your dad or brother?" I don't even know if she has a brother, but who cares about that now.

"Well… they spend all day in the bakery, I think the last thing they want to receive as gifts are more sweets." Damnit! This girl _is_ tough, I can't give up, there has to be some weakness.

"What about your friends? Not even by obligation?" she shook her head, I think that if I don't strike now I won't ever do it.

"You're a horrible person," and there it is, I'm going to take advantage of Nanoha's excess of responsibility. "you say that your friends are important to you, but you've never shown your appreciation on dates like this one," I'm so shameless, I don't ever do it either. "no wonder you have no love life."

"And what the hell do you care?" oops, she got angry, change of strategy, change of strategy. And as if fate was on my side, the first thing I found to defend myself was: Yuuno.

"Yuuno, come here, come here, I need your opinion," I hope this works. "tell me, would you like to receive chocolates from Nanoha on Valentine's Day?"

"Huh? But she gave us chocolates last year." Idiot! Now Nanoha is looking at me with a horrible winning face.

"But those were from Midori-ya, wouldn't you be happy if she puts all her feelings for you in a chocolate?" shit, good job Fate, you went a bit too far with that one, next time why don't you tell them they are in love and should start a family?

"Well…" Yuuno is thinking about it, Nanoha is staring at him, is that interest I see in her eyes? "to be honest, yes, if she did, I would be very happy."

"Re-really?" She stuttered! Well done, Yuuno, now she's weak, it's time to act.

"I'd be happy too," I said, more to make the matter bigger than for what I really felt. "but then you come here saying that it's not worth it."

"I would make chocolates if you guys ask me to."

"That's not the point of Valentine's Day, the point is to do it from the heart, but of course, since you don't know what love is…"

"What th-?! You don't know anything about me!"

"So, you do know what love is?"

"Of course I do."

" Then you're making us chocolates?" say yes, say yes, say yes…

"Piece of cake." Reverse psychology, you never disappoint me.

* * *

Going on the bus in the mornings was turning into quite a lot of fun, so much, that now I don't sleep during the ride, so I arrive with all the sleepiness to class. I've been seriously thinking about buying a pair of those glasses with eyes on them in order to sleep while pretending to pay attention, the only problem is, none of those glasses have red eyes…

Even so, things are getting good, Subaru has started with her typical "Tea, Tea, Valentine's Day is coming," which makes Teana get into tsundere mode instantly and start with her "what do I care?" which then brings Subaru to start pouting and hugging Teana's arm causing her to blush… they put on a show every morning, then Vita comes out of her "unconscious mode, all of you fu** off" and starts yelling at them to get a room, then I jump in to remind her to be a nice girl with people who had found love and to not be jealous.

Vita then gives me a dirty look and Teana blushes to unexpected levels.

It's not only Tsundere emotions that appear in the mornings. Caro has been really into the whole Valentine's Day thing, saying she wants to give chocolates to everyone important to her. I remember when she said "Fate-san is like a sister to me" with that Moe smile of hers, I almost bled to death by a nosebleed.

Now Moe things happen every day and I'm on cloud nine laughing with rosy-cheeked cherubs. If I died now, I would go to hell because I've already enjoyed heaved…speaking of that… I should also give chocolates, I told Erio I would give him one if he was a good boy, but I can't compete against Caro's Moe flavored chocolates, Chrono will turn into a three-year-old with Amy's chocolates and Yuuno… no, it would just be too awkward to give him a personal chocolate, he still hasn't forgotten the little "accident" we had… oh well, bought chocolates for everyone.

* * *

Seeing the weeks pass until Valentine's Day was quite interesting. Hayate somehow found out that Nanoha would make chocolates, so she included herself in the challenge and will also receive some made by Nanoha, and I don't know why I feel like Arisa and Suzuka are also going to get something out of it.

It was on a typical day, when there were about eight days until Valentine's, that Hayate, after returning from the office, this time because she "accidentally" lifted up a nun's skirt, asked Nanoha what she had planned to make us on Valentine's, to which she replied, "I have no idea, why don't you tell me what you like and I'll make a chocolate out of that?"

Hayate jumped of joy, Yuuno agreed, Arisa found it convenient (I knew she would appear sooner or later) and Suzuka just played along.

But I didn't want that, I wasn't interested on Nanoha making me, or anyone else, a special chocolate, I wanted the chocolate that would make her work the hardest, that was a true and proper Valentine's Day chocolate.

Why can't I get that trophy? It's true that I'm not her love interest or her best friend, it's true that I succeeded using reverse psychology… oh, of course! Obviously, it won't be the right chocolate if it's obtained that way, I have to convince Nanoha that she _wants_ to give a chocolate… even if that's not true.

"Fate-chan, how do you want your chocolate?" It's time Fate, you have to make your best performance ever.

I put the back of my right hand on my forehead, and sighed dramatically as I turned to look at the sky through the window.

"You have no idea how much it hurts that you're like that," my dramatic voice coming out of a drama series, made Hayate sighed as if saying "this girl…" but I didn't care, all my cards were in place. "You already know what I want you to put in that sweet, Nanoha…" I took her hands in mine, "I want to be flooded with your feelings," brought her hands to my chest, "I want to be the owner of your heart."

AAAAAARG! FOR THE LOVE OF UNICORNS AND THEIR RAIBOW POWERS! HOW COULD I SAY SOMETHING SO CHEESY! SOMEONE KILL ME!

I managed to not throw up, just because Nanoha's beautiful blue eyes were looking straight at mine, it seemed like she wanted to say something, but the words didn't leave her mouth, then she sighed. "Fate-chan, you…" and with a serious tone she continued. " are not feeling anything of what you just said."

"Absolutely nothing." I said as soon as she finished her sentence, it's just that I'm not into cheesy things, seriously, if I say them and then don't take them back, they start to eat my brain and I can't think straight, my hands get sweaty, and I don't feel my feet…

"Are you going to tell me how you want the damn chocolate?" I'd rather die first, Nanoha, I'd rather die first.

"Yes, I want it with tons and tons of love."

* * *

The idea of receiving chocolates from Nanoha doesn't' inspire me at all anymore, I didn't want that thing to be forced.

I was going to receive chocolates from Caro, Teana (even if she hasn't told me, it's totally obvious), my mom, maybe some from Amy and if I was lucky, Suzuka would give me one of those millionaire's chocolates that you only eat once in a life time and then they make you defecate gold.

All those chocolates made me happy, they filled me with that feeling which in the internet they call Fluff and I can always enjoy them in every mouthful, but Nanoha's chocolates, were nothing but a torment to my mind.

But the most horrible thing of all, is that what really bothered me wasn't exactly receiving forced chocolates, it was not knowing who was the lucky guy who would receive Nanoha's true feelings in the shape of a bomb of calories.

Because let's be honest. What is the point of Nanoha wasting time making five obligation chocolates if she won't take the time to make the one that really matters? A situation like this one is the ideal situation for a Tsundere to make her Valentine's Day chocolate and give it to their love interest using an excuse like "I made chocolates for my friends, and I thought that with the leftovers I would made you one, i-it's n-not like I l-like y-you or anything…" Who is that idiot! I need to know it, I need to find out, my whole training depends on it.

"So… you're going to follow Takamachi every day until you find out who she's going to give the special chocolate to." Talking to Signum about my plans had always helped me, nobody understands me like her.

"I'm not going to follow her every day, I'll find out when she'll make the chocolates and then I'll keep an eye on her only during the time it takes her to make them," I mean, I also have a life after all.

"Okay, and do you already know who's going to give you chocolates? Other than Nanoha, I mean."

"Caro looked very excited about it, I'm expecting chocolates with a moe shape, moe taste and more feelings. I get some from Teana as well, mom and Amy are making some too."

"And you?"

"I'll buy some, you know I'd rather be loved than love."

"Then this year, you'll receive the chocolates from your fans." Huh?

"What?" me no understand…

"Testarossa, seriously, your fans, did you forget about them?" Oh My God! I forgot about the fans!

"Signum! You got to help me!" how could I forget the fans, I must be the dumbest idiot in the world.

"And how do I do that? I don't go to that school anymore."

"Come back! I'll give you a uniform; I'll hide you in my bag!"

"That's stupid."

Some time ago, more precisely after the cultural festival in freshman year where Hayate had the brilliant idea of making Arisa imitate Hannah Montana and that I walked around the school dressed up like a forgotten idol, that I ended up being terribly popular with the mass of people from middle school, who are now my current kouhai in high school.

In chapter one, I said I was popular, but the problem is, I get better along with the elementary school kids, which is obvious, in the bus the majority are children, and I know all of Caro's classmates and Erio's friends.

In dates like this, from early in the morning I get chocolates, candy, cards and messages from many people who I don't know, Signum used to help me by scaring some away, or saying I was sick and couldn't eat chocolate, but that was until last year, now Signum is in college and I'm left defenseless against a jungle of hormones.

More than once it has happened that someone confesses their feelings for me and I don't know how to respond because I have no idea of who the hell they are, I'm just helpless at remembering names, I spent a year calling Subaru "robot girl" because I couldn't remember her name, for me she was the girl who was Teana's love interest and who liked to draw androids.

Only once did I accept a confession… and it's not like it turned out well, on top of that it also scares me to reject them, I once rejected someone whose name I did know but who I don't want to remember right now, and had to end up with police protection.

Nanoha, chocolates, love interest, fans… too many problems for one same date…

* * *

"And that's how we proof that the number of lesbians has gradually increased since Fate-chan came to this school."

"Yagami-san…"

"Principal's office?"

"Now!"

Monday, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I've already received a couple of messaged from people, who I've never heard of in my life, to meet up with them. Suzuka has told me already that tomorrow she'll help me identify who was who so I can thank them or something, to be honest, right now the only thing that interests me is…

"Nanoha, are you going to make the chocolates today?" Arisa asked casually.

"Yes, Midori-ya is overflowing with ingredients, and today is more a day of sales than of preparation, so I don't think I'll be bothering anyone in the kitchen." So, it's today, huh? I must act.

"Nanoha, can I go with you?"

"Eh? W-why?" duh, because I want to keep an eye one you to see who you're planning on giving chocolates to.

"I want to buy a couple of chocolates."

"Weren't you the one saying that the point of Valentine's Day was doing things from the heart?"

"Yeah, but I'm not good at cooking," lie, "so my feelings come in small bought boxes… so, can I?"

"It's not like I have to give you permission." But I bet you love feeling superior.

Instead of going to the bus stop, I walked with Hayate and Nanoha towards another street, we parted ways with Hayate at an intersection and I ended up alone, with Nanoha, walking to her house.

It's not the first time I go to Midori-ya but for some reason I feel like now is different.

Who did Nanoha liked? That question has been haunting me ever since the beginning of this whole Valentine's Day thing, my normal two hours of sleep were reduced to one, and no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, that damn question won't get out of my head.

"Have you decided how you want me to make your chocolate?" Nanoha asked me again, every day she has been asking the same thing, and I always look for a stupid excuse to avoid the real answer.

"I would like one that makes small when eating it, so that I can go visit wonderland."

"I don't even know why I keep on trying with you…"

We got to Nanoha's house five minutes later, it was horribly crowded, it would take five hours to buy anything… although, I could leave Nanoha the money so she puts it in the cash register later…

"I'm back," Nanoha told her busy mother who was wrapping a chocolate cake. I stood close to the door, after all, following Nanoha doesn't mean I have to get in the way of the business.

"Nanoha, can you do me a favor?" said her mother. "Can you deliver this package to the house on the corner? It's the last one left."

"What house on the corner?"

"You know, THAT house on the corner." She said as she winked. Nanoha blushed instantly. Now I really am interested in that house on the corner.

"Mom! Why do you always have to come up with same thing?" What? What? What's the same?

"I know you want to go there, Nanoha, if I was you I would take advantage of it." I want to go too.

Nanoha took the box and left pouting, I followed her in a flash and jogged to catch up with her on the street.

"Fate-chan, go buy your chocolates." She doesn't want me here. Why?

"I gain nothing by staying there waiting, I prefer to go with you." Let's omit the part where I'm desperate to meet your love interest.

Nanoha didn't made any more complains, she just kept walking silently up to a house with a beautiful garden, protected with a knee high fence. Nanoha walked to the door and rang the bell, a melody of Beethoven filled the atmosphere. A few seconds later, the door opened revealing a mature man, probably a university student, with blue eyes and dark hair, he had an aura around him that commanded respect and admiration, he seemed nice, you could tell he worked out his body in the gym, he had fashionable clothes, and to top it off, the bastard came out with a guitar in hand. I didn't know whether to look at him as if he was an alien or as if was a freak… wait, isn't that the same thing?

"Nanoha-chan, good to see you again." His voice had a perfect timber, not too deep and not too acute. He said every work with wet lips and his tongue clashed with his palate harmoniously… I bet he's gay.

While I watched him, the same way my brother looks at his pimples, Nanoha had turned into a red best of stutters and incoherencies, she tried three times to tell him why she was there, without success. And when I was starting to feel embarrassed myself, the guy reacted by taking the package from Nanoha's hands and smiling as he thanked her, with teeth so white, you had to wear sunglasses to not be dazzled.

The man took off his gaze from Nanoha and stared at me, not even three seconds passed before he was bowing in greeting.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Kurusugawa Kaito, are you a friend of Nanoha?" kurususu… karasu… kaka? Great, he just said his name and I can no longer remember what it is…

"umm… umm…" I started to have doubts because I had no idea of how to tell him that I was too busy thinking about which homosexual planet he came from to pay any attention to his name, "Can I…"

"Yes?"

"Can I call you Gary Stu?"

* * *

"I can't believe you called him Gary Stu!" Nanoha was in a rage, the second after the suggestion came out of my mouth, she dragged me out without even saying goodbye to Gary, who, by the way, seemed to have turned into a rock, I don't know why.

"I couldn't think of anything else." Actually I wanted to say C3PO, but I thought better not.

"You're always the same, you can't call people by their names, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, insensitive, blah, blah, blah, inconsiderate, blah, blah, blah…" I'm not interested on even half of what she's saying.

"Sorry, Nanoha, I'm sorry to have bothered Gary Stu, who you like." Anything to make her stop nagging me.

"I-I don't like him," yeah right, "a-and h-he's not a Gary Stu!" Screw this, it's time to start the training, all I have to do is convince Nanoha that giving chocolates to Gary, is so, so embarrassing, that when she does it she'll end up denying it thinking that it's right.

"I bet that now you're going to put all your heart on making him a chocolate that has all your feelings for him."

"T-that's not true!" She's getting redder with every second.

"And then, on Valentine's Day, he'll walk with you holding hands while lots of cupids and rainbows surround you."

"Not true, that won't happen!"

"And finally, he'll guide you down a road of roses towards a bed made of love in which you'll lose-"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Nanoha started hitting me not too gently in the arm, in the back and in the head, but it doesn't matter, mission accomplished, she even talked like a certain tsundere from a certain anime that I won't name for copyright issues.

Nanoha was determined to not talk to me until we arrived at Midori-ya, no matter what I did, and when we entered, she didn't said goodbye either and went straight to the kitchen. The place was a bit emptier, so I decided to get in line to buy the sweets I was supposed to give.

While waiting, I managed to spy slightly at the kitchen, where I noticed how Nanoha grabbed five molds and several ingredients. Logically, since I never told her how I wanted mine, she wouldn't bother on making it, so four of those were for pack at the school and one… one was for Gary Stu…

That was the one I wanted, the one containing everything that for a Tsundere is dere-dere, the sweetest and most delicious chocolate – okay, maybe not as much a moe one – and if it wasn't for me…

Then…

I'm going to steal it…

* * *

**T/N: **Hi! Sorry for updating later than usual, I don't have a excuse for not updating this story so I won't bother on making one up. Anyway, things seem to be getting interesting here, what's does Fate mean by stealing it? can you guys guess? Well in any case, you'll find out next chapter. Also I have to thanks the author again for helping me with translating some of Fate's unusual expressions, really they can be a pain sometimes. And for those curious people out there, who don't know this already, a Gary Stu is a character who is practically perfect, kinda. They are beautiful, talented, kindhearted and all those thing that would make a perfect person, most of the time they seem unrealistic just cause they are too perfect. So anyway, thanks for reading and please leave a review they always make me happy. :)


	6. Mission: Impossible

**T/N: **Hello, everyone, I just wanted to write a small note. Remember that on the first chapter I wrote to be smart and not try any of the things mentioned in this story at home, well _this _is the kind of thing I meant. So please don't try any of this things at home, or rather outside of home. :)

* * *

**Second Mission: Impossible.**

At eleven o'clock at night, all dressed in black and with a metal hook, I headed to Nanoha's house, or more precisely to Midori-ya, with the conviction of stealing Gary Stu's personal chocolate.

I had made the perfect plan, I got the building's blueprints on the internet – nowadays you can get anything on the internet – and planned my entry through one of the windows – which actually led to the Takamachi's dining room – then I would go downstairs, get to Midori-ya, steal the chocolate and exit through the back door.

I didn't know if the business had an alarm system, but if it did, the controls were surely inside the house, so I have to make sure to identify what type it is, to see if I can deactivate it or evade it.

Midori-ya only has one security camera, according to the internet, which is precisely pointing at the cash register, but that's not my target and as long as I stay away from it I won't have to worry about being caught.

I left my room towards the balcony of the apartment, the edge of it is very close to the window of the fifteenth floor hallway; it's about two feet away, as useful to those of us planning to escape as to the thieves planning to go in and steal. I jumped the short distance and went down using the elevator. At the reception office, I bent down to pass crawling so the guard wouldn't notice my presence and asked me what I was doing at such time, dressed in black and with a metal hook.

I was lucky to find the exit door open. I crawled until it was safe to get up, and then started running up to the bus stop.

The good thing about Japan at night, is that no matter where you are, there's always people around; moreover, they're all so busy with their own problems, they have no time to suspect who is going to do something wrong or who isn't… which is one of the reasons why there's so many rape cases… but leaving that issue aside, I should make sure that in case something happens I can find help quickly. Wait, there's also the possibility that someone who knows me identifies me and then goes telling things to my mother or Chrono… aaah, I want to go back, I don't want to see mom angry. NO! You have to be strong, Fate! Come on! That you don't have the balls doesn't mean you have to behave like a little girl!...

It can be concluded that Nanoha doesn't live in Japan; there was no one, absolutely no one in the neighborhood, it was emptier than the New York streets when they show them in the movies. Even so, I gathered all the courage I could, and started walking to Midori-ya trying to recognize the buildings and houses. Although, I won't deny it was difficult, the city changes a lot at night, and I got lost like a five-year old. In the end I had to ask the first person I saw – which in this case was a homeless guy – where the hell was the damn bakery.

Arriving at the desired location, I walked around the building to get familiar with the environment, then I identified the window through which I'd enter. It was on the second floor, but not very high and building a tower with the dumpster and some small trash cans on the nearby streets, I could reach without much difficulty.

I left my hook on a corner, making a mental note of where it was, and went looking for trash cans on the adjacent streets. When I returned, I moved the dumpster (one of those rectangular ones with wheels) and secured it with a couple of rocks right below the window. I started making the tower; I had barely put two cans in place when a damn dog started barking, it was a puppy who obviously had nothing better to do.

"Shh, shut up you stupid dog," I whispered, "you'll wake everyone." But that idiot kept on barking nonstop, getting more desperate every second, as if he knew my intentions and was trying to call someone to stop me.

Tired of the show being put by that annoying mammal, I grabbed a rock and threw it at his feet just to scare him, but it all went wrong and the dog continued barking louder. Now infuriated, convinced that someone would discover me, I took the hook and walked to the dog threatening him with a throaty voice just like a caveman. I couldn't get the dog to leave, until I hit the hook on the ground, so close to his small body and so hard, that the noise scared him making him run away crying. With the lights of the streets it could be seeing as a red bullet went at full speed to hide in the bushes. That will teach him.

Having solved the problem with the dog, which didn't even seem to have pedigree, I finished building my tower and started climbing, with the hook in hand, up to the window that was my goal from the beginning.

Without much difficulty I broke open the widow lock using the hook, and then I stealthily opened it; I had every intention of entering, when I heard again the barking of the damn stupid dog.

I looked down as the thing supported his front paws on the base of my tower and barked like crazy. I made silent gestures for him to be quiet and go away, I threw him the hook and he dodged it. He was driving me crazy, so I opened one of the garbage cans at my feet, and along with the lid, I started throwing whatever thing I found, unable to hit him even once.

When I was about to throw him a Quarter Pounder with cheese halfway-eaten, I heard the barking stop, worried I looked down and noticed a little ball of fur near the, THE ROCKS! GET AWAY FROM THERE, DOG! DON'T MOVE THEM!

The animal looked up, and I swear to god I saw his eyes glitter wickedly. I swallowed. Then the dog moved her tiny paw towards one of the rocks while I watched expectantly, sweating, asking all those questions one asks before death, what could possibly be beyond the tunnel? Would I go to heaven or hell? Would my fate have been different if I had eaten those tacos of dubious origin brought by Hayate and that I rejected because the giant billiard ball said so?

The tower started moving, threatening to head down the alley and crashing with the first thing that came across, the dog ran out right after ending her revenge, YOU BASTAR! I'LL NEVER THING THAT DOGS ARE CUTE EVER AGAIN!

I had to do something fast. I jumped inside the house, landing with my poor face flat on the carpet, I heard the noise of falling cans and when the silence returned, I stood up to realize that one must be very stupid to trust the internet. I wasn't in the dining room or the bathroom, or even in the kitchen; I was in NANOHA'S STUPID ROOM.

And there I was, body frozen, mind cursing a mile a minute and Nanoha sleeping peacefully as if a classmate dressed in black had never flown in through the window.

I force myself to calm down, closed the entrance whole just in case and got ready to head towards the door. I had barely taken three steps when Nanoha turned in her bed, OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! My heart stood still, my breath stood still, my hair stood on end, and even my… oh, no, wait, I'm a girl, I don't have that…

Even so, I was lucky that Nanoha didn't wake up. I opened the door slowly, making it squeak so damn loud – the world hates me – and I ran down the hallway to the dining room… wait, where's the dining room? I just realized I've never been to Nanoha's house before, I've been on the bakery but I've never gone up to her house.

Well, since I'm going to hang around here for a while, better do it having fun…

Welcome to the new game show "The chocolate doors" where anything could appear and everyone has a chance to win. Today we have our first participant: Fate Testarossa Harlaown, who is getting ready to open the first door… and behind door number one is… drum roll… the bathroom! Too bad, too bad, but don't be sad, we'll go to a short commercial break and come back with SHIT SOMEONE'S COMING!

Without much thought – okay, not thinking at all – I jumped into the shower in the dark and covered myself with the curtain. I heard how "someone" entered and turned on the lights, then I heard the water in the sink running and how "someone" washed their face.

"It seems that no one noticed I just got here. Kyoya, you're a genius." It was a male voice, could it be Nanoha's brother?

The boy took his time in the sink, which made me wonder what the hell he was doing that took so long, he better not be masturbating because if he is, I'm going to throw up. Between curious and worried, I poked my nose out to find an idiot, with a bare torso, making the typical poses of wrestlers, trying to show some muscles to the mirror, what the hell? All men are the same, my brother does the same stupidity.

Finally "Mr. Torso" left the bathroom, leaving me in complete darkness and scared enough to never again do such stupidities or whatever thing I was supposed to do. I kept walking quietly through Nanoha's house until I found the dining room, and along with it, the stairs leading to Midori-ya.

Next to the stairs was the alarms system controls, idiot proof I must say. It had a sticky note with the security code right on top of it like saying "come on thieves, deactivate me", who knows why it's there, surely they always forget it.

I took one of the cushions on the couch and I placed it over the place where the sound came out from as I pressed the buttons to turn off the alarm, once done, I went down the stairs to find the door unlocked – thanks Mr. Torso – and finally, I was inside Midori-ya.

At least the internet didn't lie when it said there was only one camera pointing at the cash register. I crawled nimbly, making sure to always be on the blind spot, and got to the kitchen. Once there, I was able to walk normally, and I looked at my surroundings, thinking of where they could possibly keep the chocolates in such a huge kitchen.

I checked a couple of shelves, I looked through the fridge, took out a couple of cookies while searching; there wasn't any kind of chocolate anywhere, until finally, on a table near the back, I saw a packet, a bag, very pretty, and when I took a look at it to see what was in it, I found more than one chocolate.

Now, that must be the bag that would go to school early in the morning, so there couldn't possibly be a chocolate for Gary Stu there.

Looking around a bit more, and now more accustomed to the darkness, I saw on a shelf near the back exit, a lone chocolate, heart shaped. I moved closer and took what would be my new hostage in my hands. I checked it carefully and noticed that it had written with pink frosting: "I Love You" along with a picture of a kitten… God, I get chills just looking at how pink and corny it is, its excess of love would cause allergies.

There was no doubt this was Nanoha's chocolate. This is the moment I've been waiting for, if I take it home, I run the risk of it melting or that something happens to it, so I'll eat it here.

With my heart pounding a mile a minute, I took my loot with both hands and slowly moved it close to my mouth, and just when I had it on my lips, I felt the guilt washing over me… how could I be so evil? That chocolate had the feeling of a tsundere for someone special, was I going to erase them just because I felt like it? If I did, surely Nanoha would never be able to confess her feelings, and probably she would get so frustrated that she would burst into tears and I… I couldn't see Nanoha cry, much less because of me.

Although, on the other hand… Gary Stu could as well as be gay, and if he rejects Nanoha, that would also break her heart, and the truth is that I'd rather see Nanoha cry because of me than because of some idiot who's not worth it.

And so, as fast as I got a conscience I lost it. I brought the chocolate to my mouth once and for all. And it was the most horrible experience I could have ever lived, the sugar was granulated, there were parts that had no flavor, the icing seemed to be made of laundry detergent and worst of all, the chocolate was empty. I felt nothing even remotely Fluff like, I felt lonely, cold, my skin prickled by a sharp pain in my chest that made me stop breathing… that was not what I expected, I was supposed to feel complete when tasting it, this chocolate was supposed to have love in it, however that felt…

Is love really that heartrending? Probably, but I don't think that it makes you feel lonely and cold, could it be because this chocolate wasn't meant to be for me? Did the damn guilt that had returned without me realizing, made me feel the bitter taste?

I was terribly confused, I had to lean on one of the many shelves so I wouldn't faint from doing so much thinking, it wasn't the first time I ate chocolates made by a tsundere, the ones from Teana, though not the most wonderful culinary thing in the world, made me smile, but Nanoha's… Nanoha's…

I can't understand, it's not logically possible, she has cooked more complicated things before, it couldn't possibly taste this bad for not knowing how to cook, there has to be another reason, the question is: Which one is it? Were feelings really that important on things like this? Why can I not understand it?

I bet that the stupid Gary Stu would know why…

Disappointed and with the bad taste in my mouth, I grabbed one of those thin wires sometimes used to decorate cakes, and started to try and open the lock on the back door – I learned it in a video game, so I think I know how these things work – and once I was free to leave, I regretted tasting the chocolate and the time wasted, and with a sigh I opened the door.

I then met with the same bastard that had been bothering me before, sitting there, staring at me in the eyes, we were silent for a moment and when I had the great idea of taking a step forward, the little dog jumped on me.

The little bastard bit my arm and by the shock I moved backwards and crashed into a shelf, which got opened dropping all kinds of utensils – definitely the world hates me – I separated the dog from me with a push, and he started barking again, I tried to stand up, but I hit myself with the shelf door which had just opened, so I dropped to the ground again, making even more noise.

I took the nearest spoon and looked at the dog with murderous intentions, this dog was dying HERE and NOW… or so I thought, before hearing a shotgun, yes, shotgun, before I could do anything I heard as people came running down to where I was and felt how someone carried a. Damn. SHOTGUN. What the hell? Are they animals in this house?!

Somehow I manage to get up and ran out of the kitchen through the back door, I heard a "Don't run away you coward!" along with a shot that made me run faster, with the dog barking behind me.

As I ran down the street, Nanoha's father kept on shooting at me, I could hear a female voice saying "dad stop, you're going to kill him!" and the other yelling "DIE YOU BASTARD!". And I swear I swore to never, ever again steal anything from anyone in my entire life.

I turned on the corner of Gary Stu's house, but I couldn't stop because every time I slowed down the dog would attack my pants, trying to make me lose my balance so I would fall flat on the ground. Damn dog, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU?!

I ducked into an alley, where I jumped a fence that only reached my waist but was high enough so that the little demon couldn't pass. He tried to jump twice, and seeing that he couldn't, he chose to start barking like there was no tomorrow.

I enjoyed my victory slowly, making funny face at the dog who almost got me killed with my lungs punctured and filled with lead. I turned my back to show him my butt since he couldn't reach it because I was superior, hell yeah! A human being! At the top of the food chain! Eat my perfect coccyx you mongrel dog!

Finally the animal stopped barking and started walking backwards slowly, still looking at me, of course, my presence is too much for his tiny mind, it's obvious that I scared him, and then I realized that he wasn't looking at me…

Oh no… you can't be serious… my life can't be so cliché…

I turned my head to look back slowly, begging all the superheroes to come and save me with their cleverness. Behind me, with the brightest eyes I've seen in my life, were five dogs, which seemed like bears by how big they were, looking directly at me as they growled and their slobber fell on the ground, I cursed my life for being so cliché and tried to find a way out of this, although eighty percent of my brain was concerned that I didn't pee my pants in fear.

My head was about to explode, all my thoughts were being occupied by one single word:

RUUUUUUUN!

And I ran, ran like a bat out of hell, ran as if a huge gas propeller had pushed me on the back, I ran and jumped the fence, and along with me, ran the other poor puppy, so fast that his legs didn't seem to touch the ground. The beasts jumped the fence as well and started chasing us down the street. I could hear the steps of those persecuting me, getting closer with every second. I turned down a narrow street, getting separated from the puppy. Although it didn't last long, we met again two streets further on and we looked at each other like saying "You again?"… and then we continued running down the same street.

I then noticed what would be my salvation, the bus, the glorious bus. I turned and entered an alley along with the puppy and the five black dogs at full speed, the bus stop was on the other side. If I could run one hundred meters more, dodging the dumpsters, and get there just when the door opened to jump in, then I would be saved… I should have written my will before leaving.

Drawing strength from where there was none, I ran a little faster, getting closer and closer to my salvation, when, I don't know if it was some sort of divine justice, the puppy that was running with me fell, rolling for about two meters and making me stop suddenly a few steps away from him. I watched as the puppy tried to get up, but he had an injured leg, the black beast were still behind us, the bus had just arrived at the stop, if I ran fast now I could still catch it.

I turned back, grabbed the puppy and ran as fast as I've ever done in my life, the time wasted allowed the dogs to be almost right on my heels. I cursed again and again for being so noble, the bus door was closing, I yelled at the driver and about a meter away from the door, I jumped; I wasn't very lucky, one of the black dogs bit my pants, which made fall with half of my body out of the bus and drop the puppy. The driver yelled along with the other people in the bus. The dog shook me like a toy, I kicked him as I tried to get it, I saw the other four coming, I was going to die, I couldn't think, and so, out of nowhere, came the puppy and bit the nose of my captor, making him let go of me, the driver closed the door and finally both of us, the small dog and me, were safely inside the bus.

With my heart beating like it had never beat before, catching my breath and still white from the event, I got up, grabbed the dog and went to back of the bus and sat down. I rode without paying, but nobody seemed to care. As I looked out the window, I felt something wet passing through my hand, I realized it was the same dog who had gotten me into this whole mess, with a regretful face apologizing, I simply reacted by stoking him and it seemed like my new friend was happy with that… wait a second…

I lifted him up, and realized that there was something very important mission and that my friend wasn't a he but a she. No wonder she was so annoying, it had to be women…

"Hi, my name is Fate," I told her, to which she simple answered with a bark, which is obvious since dogs don't talk.

After that I started laughing, I laughed because I had just barely survived, I laughed because of everything that I went through for a damn chocolate and I laughed because despite all of it I would do it again if necessary. If I'm a masochist or an idiot.

… Arf would be a good name…

* * *

I was lucky to find the guard sleeping like a baby, so I just walked directly to the elevator, and then to the separation of two feet to get to my houses along with Arf, I had to take look at her leg and give her some food.

Inside there was complete darkness, so I calmed down instantly thinking that neither mother nor Chrono had noticed that I left.

"Fate Testarossa Harlaown!" and suddenly the lights turned on, to show a not at all friendly Lindy Harlaown sitting on the couch with Chrono behind her with his arms crossed.

"Mom, wait, I can explain." … I think…

"You better be able to. You have three seconds to tell me where you were at such an hour, dressed like that, and with that animal." What do I say? I can't lie to mom, she always catches me.

"Look, the things is that I saw this little dog on the street and at first she would just bark like crazy, so I started throwing things at her and then five huge dogs came out of nowhere, and started chasing her, and I saved her, but then they started chasing me too and… and look at what they did to my pants." Then I showed her the part that had been torn, which made mom change her furious face to a worried face, I felt relieved, I had managed to tell Lindy what she wanted to hear without lying, of course, I left out some information, but everything I said is true.

Mom went to get the first aid kit, she started to take a look at every bruise and scrape, both mine and Arf's. Chrono was also worried and while mom took care of me, both of them gave me the longest speech ever, and which I was forced to listen to, because every time I had the brilliant idea of stop paying attention, Mom would press harder on any wound.

"Okay," Chrono said, "have you thought about what you're going to do with that dog?"

"First," I corrected, "Arf is a girl, and second," I looked at mom straight in the eyes, "Can I keep her? Please, please, please, please."

"Fate," Mom said, "having a dog is a big responsibility, and you're not exactly the most responsible person I know."

"But Mom, I even gave her a name already." I never remember the name of things, so this is a clear proof that I really care.

"I'll tell you what, you can choose between two things; if the dog stays, you accept your punishment for one month, no games, no internet and not going out, but if the dog leaves, your punishment will only last a week." She's evil, she should have never become a mother.

"The dog stays." I said reluctantly.

"Okay, one month of punishment and the dog food will come out of your allowance."

"But dog food is very expensive!"

"Yes, and child food is also very expensive and you don't see me complaining because I have to feed you and your brother." And so, no more was said. Chrono helped me make some kind of bed for Arf, I had to give her a bath, take a shower myself, and then finally go back to bed, simply not wanting tomorrow to arrive.

* * *

Breakfast was just like every breakfast on Valentine's Day; Chrono didn't stop looking at me while I ate until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to go get his chocolates to give them to him once and for all, which as a result got me a bear hug and a reminder that I couldn't have a boyfriend until I was forty.

Linith arrived at seven o'clock as usual, and as soon as I had any intention of leaving Arf started to cry, so using the warmest voice I had, I explained to her why I had to go to school and that I would be back soon to play with her, when I left the building I realized I had just given an explanation to a dog.

I climbed into the small bus, and there was Vita, who greeted me with her characteristic growl like every day, I sat in my usual seat on the back and got in the plan of getting some sleep, the events of the night before had left me exhausted…

When I woke up, I realized that all the children had already been picked up, even Erio; something else I noticed, were the few chocolates on my lap, including Caro's moe chocolate and Teana's tsundere chocolate. Then I realized the awful truth, I looked at Subaru, and saw that she had a package in her hands which she watched admiringly, damnit! I missed Teana's dere-dere moment!

"SUBARU!" I yelled desperately, which made the girl jump in surprise. "Is that Teana's chocolate?"

"Yes," said Subaru with drool on her mouth, I felt horrible, I'd had enough suffering yesterday and as if that hadn't been enough, I missed the tsundere show of the morning.

"So how was it?" I asked. If I couldn't see it, at least I can hear it, and Subaru is innocent enough to tell me without much persuasion. "Did she stammer? I bet that she said it was out of pity."

Subaru opened her mouth, and just at that very second Teana jumped in to cover it desperately shouting, "You can't tell her!" to which the other girl had the great idea to answer with, "But Tea, why can't I tell her that you were speechless and blushing when you gave it to me?" Teana blushed as I haven't seen her do in a long time, and started hitting her, which I imagine was painful.

Unlike Subaru, it usually took me more than twenty minutes to make Teana act that way, the power of a Love Interest really is awesome…

I thanked Caro for her gift and gave Erio the chocolate I had promised as soon as we got to the school; afterwards, I walked calmly, waking with the morning air. Before reaching the entrance where all the lockers were located at, suddenly appeared in front of me, making me stop, a group of five girls.

"Hiiiiiiii," they said in unison.

"H-hi," I answered confused. "Can… can I help you?" the girls just stood there, smiling at me and making me nervous; I was starting to fear for my safety, what if they kidnap me?

"Fate-san," said one of them, "we…"

"You…?"

"We like you a lot!" and at the same time they all bowed, stretching their arms out and leaving right in front of my face five presents well decorated.

And to make it worse, I had no idea of what to do. Everyone who passed by would stared strangely at the group with their heads down in front of me; I was so embarrassed with the situation, that I started to tell the girls to stand properly, but they didn't want to, at least not until I "accepted then in a little piece of my perfect heart!" Help!

In the end, I told them that I accepted them anywhere they wanted, as long as they went to class, I took the five gifts as fast as I could, and after the girls left, I continued my way. I got to the lockers, and when I opened mine, a flood of letters came down at me, scaring me and making me scream. The paper mountain reach up to my knees, and I really felt bad for all the trees that had suffered because of me; I started to sort out all the letters to put them back in my looker, separating them by size and excess of pink.

I was just finishing when I heard Nanoha's voice as she was arriving, our lockers are relatively close, so I looked up to find her putting away her shoes and looking directly at me; it occurred to me to smile at her, but all I got was to be completely ignored, huh?

"Nanoha," I called her before she left, "do you have a bag a can borrow?" a necessary thing for all the corny things I would receive today.

"Not for you," she said without even looking at me, what the hell? What did I do now?

It took me ten minutes longer than usual to get to class because every five steps appeared another girl to give me anything that they could think of, seriously, it's a miracle I got there in one piece, when the one wearing a bunny costume appeared in front of me I really feared for my virginity.

I got to class about to collapse with a mountain of chocolates on top of me, as soon as I peeked in I received help from Hayate, and when I got to my sit I realized that there was another small mountain of things on of it, did whole school gave me gifts?

During the morning, Hayate decided, along with everyone else, to check all the chocolates and letters, I would let them eat anything as long as I had tasted it first, it wasn't because I felt responsible or anything, but because there's always someone who puts aphrodisiacs in them with bad intentions, and I don't want any of my friends to end up with a problem.

"Dear Fate-san," Hayate read one of the many letters while eating chocolate, "since the moment I saw you, I've been completely in love with you, I can't stop thinking about your eyes every night, forgive me for being so perverted… but I want you, I can't help imaginin-" OKAY ENOUGH! I took the letter and put it my bag quickly.

"Fate-chan," she said with a sad face, "I was getting to the best part." best part nothing, Hayate.

"But…" Arisa started talking, "Isn't that letter from Ichigaya-san, from the class next door? I thought she was already with someone."

"She was," Hayate replied, "but they broke up a long time ago, guess thanks to who?" she then gave me a knowing look.

"Hey, it's not my fault," I defended myself, "I don't even know who this person is or why she wants me to…" I took out the letter that I had previously put away. "to travel down her back with my brea-What?!" they all burst out laughing while I blushed at such confession, really, it had things that I had no idea could be done between two girls.

The whole fuss was ended when Nanoha hit the table with her fist obviously annoyed, then she stood up saying she was going to the bathroom and then left the room. Was it something I said? And I haven't even done anything to make her act tsunderely.

"What happened to Nanoha?" Yuuno asked.

"Apparently, a thief broke into her house last night," Hayate replied, "and because of it she couldn't sleep very well and now she's all pissed off." No way! A thief in Nanoha's house! How awful, at this rate who knows where today's world will end at.

Hours passed and I couldn't enjoy any break or even lunch, because of being constantly called to remote places where people would confess to me, the good thing about this year, is that Suzuka would tell me the name of the person before I talked to them, so this time I could reject them making them believe I knew who they were; which usually makes them very happy I don't know why, but if they stay calm even though I rejected them, then I don't have to worry any more.

The day was over and I was getting my bag ready along with five other bags full of left over chocolates, to finally leave when in our classroom appeared another girl, of medium height and very delicate, and I who I didn't know, to ask if she could speak with me, I went to Suzuka, who told me her name was Kaoru Shirogane, so after telling the others to go on ahead without me, I followed her up to the roof.

"Fate-chan, I'll just get to the point," Whoa! Easy girl, easy! 'chan'? Seriously? "I'm in love with you and want you to be my girlfriend."

"I'm really sorry, Shirogane-san," emphasis on '-san' "you're very cute and friendly," even though you're not my type and I know nothing about you. "but I can't reciprocate your feelings." I finished my sentence looking straight at her in the eyes and with a simple smile, and then I noticed that her eyes were watery, please don't cry, I'm terrible at comforting people.

"You… you called me Shirogane-san… Fate-chan… you… know who I am," no, I don't know who you are, my friend told me who you were, stop looking so happy just because I said your name, you're starting to scare me.

The girl began to approach me dangerously, with her lustful eye directly on mine, I could recognize that look, I had seen it long ago in this same roof, when I rejected _her_, this girl… this girl was not going to let me escape.

"Fate-chan, you and I must be connected in some way," I sincerely hope not. I started to back away as she moved closer, until my back was against the wall, far from the door – my luck – why does this happen to me? Why are my fans worse than the fans of the guys from Disney?

I was about to eat my lip when the sound of the door opening made her suddenly back out, and at the door was, Nanoha! Oh my God, Nanoha! You don't know how glad I am to see you, have I told you how much I appreciate you?

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"NO!" I yelled and quickly went to where she was. "Nanoha, my dear friend, how good to see you, you don't know how much I love being with you."

"O-kaaaay," she said confused. "we're waiting for you, if you're not coming…"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" and I grabbed her arm and fled, leaving the other girl up there.

"Thanks for showing up, Nanoha" I told her as we walked out. "I really was in an uncomfortable situation."

Nanoha seemed a bit hesitant, looking at my bags of chocolates curiously. "Why do you accept all the gifts you get? They just seem like a lot of problems to me."

"Well, yes," I laughed slightly. "the truth is that they really cause a lot of problems, although it should be expected, each chocolate is full of feelings and feelings are problematic."

"So, you accept problems of your own free will."

"Someone has to," Nanoha reached into her bag and pulled out a box well decorated, which she stretched towards me without even looking at me, "What?"

"You're chocolate, don't get excited though, since you didn't say how you wanted it, I had to wrack my brain thinking of what to make, it's a simple one… made out of obligation…" I don't want it, not like that…

"Sorry, Nanoha, but I can't accept it…" there was a short silence and then Nanoha went KABOOM!

"YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH THAT STUPID NONSENSE NOW!" She yelled making me back away. "YOU SPENT TWO WEEKS BOTHERING ME SO I WOULD MAKE YOU A CHOCOLATE!" actually, it was a week and a half. "AND WHEN I ACCEPT, YOU DON'T TELL ME HOW YOU WANT IT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW MUCH THINKING I HAD TO DO TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT TO PUT IN IT?!" But didn't you say it had been no problem. "YOU ACCEPT CHOCOLATES FROM STRANGERS BUT YOU CAN'T ACCEPT MINE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Waaah! Help! She's going to kill me! "A PERVERT BROKE INTO MY HOUSE, I COULDN'T SLEEP AT ALL, YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR CHOCOLATE IS INTACT, THAT BASTARD ATE THE CHOCOLATE THAT MY BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND HAD MADE FOR HIM" I ate, whaaaaat? "SO NOW YOU'RE GOING TO ACCEPT THE CHOCOLATE, YOU'RE GOING TO EAT IT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!"

And with that, Nanoha threw the chocolate at my chest, making me drop all my bags; she left angry, didn't even said goodbye and I still can't understand what the hell I did to deserve all this.

Even so, Valentine's Day wasn't so bad, I didn't see Nanoha stutter but for some reason I feel like she acted tsunderely…

Once at home I tried Nanoha's chocolate – since she forbade me to eat it in front of her – and found it to be the most delicious chocolate I had ever eaten.

* * *

**T/N: **Well, what did you think of that? Nobody expected Fate would actually do that, right? I tried not to use the f-word, although I think it would have sounded better on some parts if I did, so if you guys think I should change it then let me know and I will. Also I wanted to answer one question which has been asked twice already by the same person and I'm sure many of you are also wondering this: will there be romance or NanoFate moments in this story? Well, the answer is: For the romance part I don't know, I don't think there is any _romantic _things happening in this story, it's humor after all, but there will be many good NanoFate moments, actually next chapter is full of... um... I don't think fluff is the right word, I think cheesyness, yeah, there will be a lot of cheesyness on the next chapter plus, there will be a _very _good NanoFate moment, or at least in my opinion, kinda short, but good. Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave some feedback. :D


	7. Mission: Waka-Waka

**T/N: **Hi again, sorry for the late update I was sick and didn't have time to do it earlier, but anyway, I have some things to explain and clarify before you read the chapter. First, just in case you were wondering or were confused last chapter, Fate lives in an apartment building, if I made it seem like she lived in a house in any precious chapter please let me know and I'll fix it. Second, when I said there wouldn't be anything _romantic _in the story, I meant romantic situations, that doesn't mean there won't be any special feelings between Nanoha and Fate, now I won't say anything more or I'll ruin the story.

And last, I'm guessing this chapter was written on 2010 during the time of the world cup, so there's some things about that mention here, also waka-waka is title of a song by Shakira, which was very popular during that time, you don't need to go look for it, but if you want you can watch the video, just to get a better visualization, but that's up to you. Oh! and there's one small thing I also want to mention, there's some things in this chapter that could be rated M, but I don't know, I don't think it's that serious, but I just wanted you to know and be aware of it. So, you can now go head and start reading, please enjoy!

* * *

One of the things that made Nanoha's training really complicated, is that since she had no love interest – I discarded Gary Stu after Valentine's Day – and I didn't have enough time, how was I going to train Nanoha so she would act Tsundere in her relationships, both romantic and sexual. With Teana I'd had all the time in the world and after Subaru appeared, well it was a piece of cake. I can't gradually attack Nanoha by showing her examples of embarrassing couples or unhealthy relationships; if I wanted to attack, I had to do it with all my power, I had to create a traumatic situation that would get her ready without any further waste of time, but I didn't have even the slightest idea of what to do to achieve my goal with Nanoha.

"Fate-chan," she called me. "Have you realized that it's going to be a year since we first sat together?" Oh! Training Chance!

"So? Do you want me to give you an anniversary gift?" Nanoha blushed instantly.

"N-no!" there, that'll embarrassed her for going around remembering important dates, now… where was I? Oh yeah, a traumatic situa… anniversary gift? That's it!

Fate, you're a genius.

**Mission: Waka-Waka (and its multiple meanings).**

The unthinkable happened and Japan made it to the World Cup South Africa 2010, it was crazy all over the streets, filled with fans and people who practiced shouting "Goaaaal!" for when the right moment arrived, in reality in Japan we're not used to shout a goal, Baseball is more popular, but hey, world cup madness is world cup madness, nobody is left out.

However, I had my own madness to worry about, Tsundere madness, and along with me, my faithful servant.

"Attention Officer Arf, second in command." I said receiving a bark in response.

Yes, I talk to my dog, got a problem with that? Arf turned out to be a very smart dog, in the blink of an eye she learned a lot of tricks which are truly indispensable, and she instantly understood my whole explanation about Tsundere girls. She's the one responsible of approving all my plans.

"Okay officer Arf, our goal in the following," I said standing in front of a board that I have in my room and which I use to write my plans. "make sure Nanoha Takamachi acts Tsunderely in her romantic relationships of sexual connotation. Now, I've thought of multiple strategies so that the mission can be accomplished, but they all require too much time and they don't guarantee that all the objectives will be achieved satisfactorily," Arf seemed intrigued with the situation. "so, with Nanoha, we must use one single attack that's harmful enough to ensure us a Tsundere behavior for at least ten years until Nanoha reaches adulthood in its fullness… and from what I read on the internet, the psychological attack that we'll be using is a 'Traumatic Experience'. I've taken notes, and I think it would be best to use the fact that it'll be a year of the two of us sitting together in my favor, what do you think, Arf?" Arf simply barked twice in approval and wagged her tail, I knew she would support me.

"Very well Arf, here's the plan: I'll become the self-chosen girlfriend of Nanoha Takamachi, I'm planning to start everything on the day of the 'anniversary', arriving with a gift that embarrasses her, and from there, I'll act as possessive, jealous and loving as my sanity allows me to, until she can no longer be calmed when being with me. That will be the first phase. Then, I'll make sure to put every dirty thought I can in Nanoha's mind." As I said this, I was writing a bunch of scribbles on the board, just like a football coach does with his team. "Mainly about girl on girl relationships. Finally, in the third phase, I'll make sure that all of Nanoha's dirty thoughts come true in a way that leaves me free of guilt and with the ease of messing with Nanoha for the rest of her life." Arf seemed noticeably surprised by the evilness in my mind, maybe now she understands why I was able to walk in an outside neighborhood in the middle of the night, however, the shock didn't last long and she was soon barking and moving like a bullet, showing me that she agreed with my training plan.

There was only one question left to be answered? Pink bunny or striped kitten?

* * *

And there I was, on my way to class, with a giant stuffed cat, and under the strange looks of everyone. When I arrived, Nanoha was already there, so I went directly to her place, excitingly placing the animal on her desk and yelling with a sickly-sweet tone:

"Happy Anniversary sweetie!" the shock on the face of Nanoha, Hayate, Yuuno and the whole class in general, was worth saving in a chest of amazing things.

Nanoha was redder than a tomato, she looked like a teapot and I think that smoke was coming out of her ears, but I still wasn't satisfied – since it had to be traumatic – so, resting my arms on the cat's head and leaning closer to Nanoha, I said happily:

"Aren't you going to give me my good morning kiss?" Nanoha started to hyperventilate, and as I moved closer and closer to her, she would moved further and further away… until she fell of the chair.

"You killed her!" Hayate shouted as she rushed to help Nanoha get up again, the girl with the ponytail was notoriously confused, trying to understand in which strange dimension she had awakened. I simply continued with the plan as it should be.

"Nanoha, sweet thing, do you realized that today marks one year since we sat down together?" It seemed that my friend was going to run out of jaw by how wide opened it was. I simply worried about smiling and sitting down on my place, leaving in her desk the giant cat, which by the way had a message in its collar saying, "Happy Anniversary"

Nanoha had a confused face the rest of the time, people looked at her, then at the cat and she had no way to face them, how could she explain that a girl had given her such a gift because it was their anniversary?

* * *

My plan was pretty simple and because of my low tolerance for love, it wasn't in my plans to go around hugging her or kissing her on the cheek… no, definitely not that… of course, there was nothing wrong with doing all the other stupid things that all couples do.

**Stupid Thing #1: Nicknames**

"Cutie pie, do you want us to do the history project together?" Nanoha stared at me with a face that said 'How on earth did you call me?', Hayate could barely contain her laughter and the other three in front of us turned to look at me with the same shock as in the morning. Nanoha simply couldn't answer me, which gave me a boost to continue with the process.

"Come on, cutie pie, you're not going to leave your sweetie all alone, are you?" Ugh… saying all those names with the '-tie' at the end of every one of them is horribly exhausting and painfully corny.

"My… My… What?" My friend's face got even more deformed, she looked at me as if I had one million eyes and my hair were tentacles. Time to get dramatic.

"Could it be that perhaps you didn't like my gift? Even though I spent all night thinking about my little cutie pie and her beautiful eyes." I'll throw up, I'm going to throw up. "and I chose that kitten hoping to see a smile on that pretty and delicate little mouth of yours." Control yourself, Fate, control yourself. "but it doesn't matter, it's fine if you want to go with someone else, my heart can wait." I accompanied this with a fake tear rolling down my cheek.

Hayate couldn't hold it anymore and burst into laughter, while Nanoha tried to find the right words to answer such things I had said.

"Um… Fate-chan… I thought you'd be working with Yuuno-kun." Why the hell does everyone keep up with that?

I hit my head on the table. Hard. I'll get a bump, but it was necessary and then I began with my tantrum worthy of a four year old:

"BUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I think I also started to kick and move my arms in the air. "THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION DOESN'T WANT ME, SHE SENDS ME WITH MEN SO THEY CAN RAPE ME, WHEN I ONLY WANT TO BE TOUCHED BY HER." Nanoha panicked with this. "I WANT MY SWEETIE PIE TO TAKE CARE OF ME"

"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL DO THE PROJECT WITH YOU! I'LL DO IT!"

**Stupid Thing #2: Jealousy**

We were peacefully in a peaceful math class, doing peaceful calculations in peace when my excessive boredom and Nanoha's excessive red – which hadn't disappeared since history class – were enough to make me stop paying attention to the class and wanting for something to happen in order to continued Nanoha's training regarding her romantic relationships.

"Takamachi-san, can you come to the board and solve this problem?" said the teacher, and the peace was lost.

"Hey! Nobody tells my girl what to do!"

"To the principal's office, Yagami-san!" replied the teacher.

"But it wasn't me!"

"It was me!" I yelled standing up.

Knowing this school since I was ten years old, surely the teacher thought that I was doing some kind of punishment – because of Hayate – or that I had gone crazy – because of Hayate – or that the person standing there wasn't Fate Testarossa Harlaown – but Hayate disguised. But well, I already started the party, no way I'll backdown now.

"You better stop all your evil plans your perverted teacher," I said pointing to the teacher with my right hand. "I know exactly how people like you think, all you want is for Nanoha to go up front so you can look at her boobs and her butt." Did I mention the teacher was a nun? "And I bet that that plant in the window is fake and you use it to record all the girls you call to the board," the teacher was white, I don't if it was from anger, fear or surprise. "but not with Nanoha, because every part of the sexy, curvy and sometimes sweaty body of Nanoha belongs to mmphm!" Nanoha jumped on me and put her hand on my mouth to shut me up, the nun teacher ended up fainting, she was taken to the nurse's office and I was almost sent to the purgatory for "moral offenses".

**Stupid Thing #3: Aaaah~**

"Love, say aaah~" I said singing.

"AH?!"

"No, not AH? ! Aaaah~" in the middle of the cafeteria, with people, both from our class and from others, staring at us, I had the brilliant idea of feeding Nanoha from my food in order to increase the traumatic experience.

"Fate-chan, everyone's watching." And the truth is that it was working, I think that during this week Nanoha is going to be more embarrassed than what she has ever been embarrassed in a whole year.

"I don't care if they're watching, I only have eyes for you." I'm going to have pink nightmares because of this… it doesn't matter, everything for the training of a tsundere.

"But, Fate-chan, I really…" I lowered the fork and made the saddest face I could manage at that moment.

"I understand, you no longer want anything from me…. You know, I can hardly cook," lie "but even so, I wanted to do my best to make this so you could try it." Lie again. The excess of responsibility in Nanoha made her feel guilty.

"Ok, I'll try it, but I can feed myself."

"BUAAAAAH! My cutie pie doesn't want to be spoiled! I'm going to kill myself!"

"I GET IT! I GET IT!" and so, with all her blood on her face, about to cry from embarrassment, Nanoha closed her eyes and opened her mouth.

**Stupid Thing #4: You and you and only you**

"Fate," Arisa called me, "this Saturday is the release of the new fights simulator version 4.0" NO WAY! The fights simulator 4.0 with ultrasensitive motion sensor and 3D visualization! "So, do you want to try it on Sunday when it gets delivered?" Arisa, I love you, with all my heart, with all my soul, my love for you fits inside a pixel but with a petabyte of data. But wait, if I accept enthusiastically as always then I'll interrupt Nanoha's training, what do I do? Okay, let's compare: the simulator I've been waiting for months, or the tsundere that I have to train in only a few months, fighting or Nanoha, Combo Breaker or dere-dere. Why can't games and girls go together?!

"Umm… can my sweetie pie come with me?" I said pointing at Nanoha, who was next to me still embarrassed that I kept on calling her like that.

"Eem… sure…" said Arisa making my day, my week, my month, my year and my whole life now that I think about it.

"I would like to go," Nanoha said, "but the truth is that I don't really like fighting games." NOOOOO! WHYYYYYYakvbakjzgvbaksdb!

"Sorry Arisa, but if my honey bunch doesn't go, neither am I" I'm going to cry, I want my mommy, mommy!…

"Fate, seriously, what happened to you?" what happened is that I have an awful luck and when I get home I'll get in bed and I'll just CRY AND CRY.

"It happens that when love knocks at your door," I'll kill myself, I don't want to live in this cruel world. "you just want to be with your loved one." I'm going to jump in front of the a train and let someone else continue with my work.

"Well, whatever…" and with that, Arisa left…

STUPID COUPLES!

**Stupid Thing #5: You hang up**

"Midori-ya, may I take your order?"

"I want a chocolate plated Nanoha."

"Fate-chan? But what the hell-"

"Surprised?" I went to the trouble of sending Arf with a small camera to Midori-ya, just to find out at what times Nanoha worked and be able to do the stupid thing I have planned which will help me as much for the tsundere training as for revenge for not being able to go play with the new fights simulator 4.0 with ultrasensitive motion sensor and 3D visualization.

"Fate-chan, this is the bakery's phone, you could have called my cell phone." And miss the fun?

"Sweet thing, I have something very important to ask." I felt how Nanoha stopped breathing, surely she's thinking the worst. "Do you want to get together to work on the history project?"

"Ah…" she sighed, apparently relieved. "… the history project… sure, is Saturday okay with you?" time for (revenge) training.

"You hang up"

"Huh?"

"You hang up"

"Why do you want me to hang up?"

"Because I couldn't possible cut your beautiful voice."

"Fate-chan, I'm not going to hang up, you haven't told me if you're coming on Saturday."

"You hang up"

"I'm not hanging up"

"You hang up"

"Stop doing that and if you don't want to talk then just hang up."

"You hang up"

"No, you hang up"

"Nah, you hang up"

"You hang up" shit! There's a call on the other line! I hope it's not Chrono's girlfriend #7.

"Sweetheart, I have to hang up, but I don't want to, so you hang up."

"Fate, for the last time, you hang up!" then I heard a voice behind Nanoha saying "stop being all sugary with your boyfriend and use the phone as you're supposed to." After that, I just heard Nanoha yell and the dead line.

Now, let's see who's responsible of taking away my fun.

"Hallo, Fate-chan." Hayate, I was expecting it sooner or later, this girl is really perceptive.

"What do you want, Hayate?" the faster I get her to leave me alone the safer I'll be.

"So… you're training Nanoha-chan," But what-how-when-what?! "Your silence gives you away Fate-chan, I wasn't sure if you were actually doing it, but after hearing about the thing with Arisa-chan, I knew that if it wasn't for a tsundere it wasn't for anyone." Great, Hayate knows, my whole training is going to hell.

"Are you going to tell Nanoha?"

"Of course not," I knew she would say, no? Who are you and what did you do to Hayate? "Fate-chan, I really wasn't expecting you to go after Nanoha, and the truth is that if you're going to do things like the ones you did this week, then I can't possibly miss them."

"Wow, it's a miracle, you've never supported the training." It's true, the day that Hayate found out about my hobby, she tried by all means to convince me that it was so bad, she would never do it even if it was Monday. I think that one of the reasons she gave me was about feelings and all that crap I don't understand.

"But only this time, of course, I do it for personal reasons, although I don't approve that you train Nanoha-chan, someone could get hurt." Why do I always have the feelings that Hayate knows more than she what she says? If I ask her she won't answer, it's best if I use her to my advantage.

"Hayate, is the forbidden room still there?"

The forbidden room is a room in Hayate's house that is full of all the things that shouldn't be in the house of a seventeen year old girl. That room must be kept hidden from the police simply because Hayate would have to face the minimum sentence of five years and one day, if it's ever made public.

In that room, there's many, many things, from strange toys, hentai and evil artifacts, to coffins, shrunken heads and document that would destroy many of the current world governments. I don't know where Hayate got all those things, that's one of the many things she never tells me no matter how many times I ask her; and the only reason I have access to the strange room is because I found it by accident and because I swore, with one hand on my breasts, to never reveal the secrets of the "Forbidden Room'.

* * *

I went to Hayate's house the next day, and explained what I had I in mind and that what I needed was Yuri videos that could help me make Nanoha completely shy about the subject of sex. The main thing is that it wasn't porn, because real life went beyond fiction in many ways and I don't want Nanoha to end up completely traumatized for life and was afraid or disgusted by sex; I simply wanted to create in her a curiosity about the subject, with something that isn't common, and thus can get her to not stop thinking about it.

Hayate got me the videos without much trouble, then I made some copies and to these I put the following titles "The secret most secret that must not be revealed.", "The history that explains the secret of the universe" and "Waka-Waka", which would be enough to make Nanoha melt with curiosity and then watch without much thought.

On Friday before we had to leave from school, while Hayate distracted Nanoha talking about the different theories of evolution – no, we couldn't think of anything else – I placed the three objects in Nanoha's bag and then continued my stupid pretention as I had done that whole week.

But actually, the best thing happened on Saturday when I went to Nanoha's house to work on the history project.

I went to Midori-ya with a stupid grin on my face, I brought Arf with me so she wouldn't stay alone at home and we entered the business calmly. Inside, there was a medium amount of people, both sitting at tables and standing in line to buy something. Looking around, I found my target, sitting thoughtful looking out a window. I wonder if she's seen the videos.

I walked quietly to her, put my lips to her ear and whispered softly:

"You look beautiful all thoughtful"

"Waaaah!" Nanoha screamed, jumped up and stared at me while covering the place where I had whispered with her hand as she got more and more red at an unhealthy speed. Yes, she saw them.

"Is that how you treat all your guests, cutie pie?" by each passing second Nanoha became increasingly panicked.

"Don't say anything, don't come any closer, DON'T TRY ANYTHING!" Oh, it seems the effect was greater than I expected, now relationships in general will be an embarrassing topic for Nanoha, although since she watched the videos yesterday, it's normal to be so defensive, but it'll go away during the weekend.

"All I want to try is work on a history project."

"History? Oh yeah, history…" Nanoha with double entendre thoughts really makes greats faces.

Then came to where we were an older woman, almost identical to Nanoha, who I have understood is her mother, with a tray of cookies, I love cookies, and said:

"You must be Fate-chan." How friendly, I like her.

"Yes, and this is Arf." Arf barked in greeting.

"Arf, it's nice to meet you, you seemed very familiar, I think I've seen you hanging around this neighborhood before." Oh, what a coincidence, isn't it?

"It's possible, I took her in from the street" I won't say from where, so I'll hide it with a smile.

"Would you like to try our cookies, Fate-chan?"

"Thank you," I said taking one, it tasted heavenly, heavenly I tell you. "I now see where my cutie pie got her culinary gifts from," now that I think about it, I shouldn't have said that "I didn't expect any less from my mother-in-law." Or that.

My mother-in-law looked at me confused, Nanoha jumped to the rescue and dragged me out of there saying that we would be working on a history project and that she shouldn't go up for absolutely nothing in the world since we would be very busy and blah blah blah, I didn't hear the rest.

Nanoha took me to her room, which made feel a déjà-vu, I wonder why, it's not like I've been there before, in the middle of the night, after jumping from a tower of junk. Anyway, once there Nanoha gave me a speech about how I couldn't go around with my games at her house, that people would think badly of her, that they already thought bad of her at school because of me and that I couldn't continue with it. I nodded to everything without really paying much attention, I just wanted her to calm down so I could continue with my own things.

We were in the middle of doing the project, Nanoha had gone down for a few snacks and we actually worked really great together, mainly because our conversations were nothing but monosyllables and all of them related to the work, until, finally, history ended up boring me and I started to look closely at Nanoha.

Soon I noticed that Nanoha was writing with her head lower than normal, and that her eyes darted back and forth, from here to there, up and then right, to me and then to the books. If I understand the movement of her eyes, Nanoha just remembered something and if I understand a tsundere behavior, and I do understand it, then it's something embarrassing related to me. Nanoha you perv, it's wrong for a girl from a good family to think about those things. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson.

"Waka-Waka" I said.

"What?" Nanoha answered looking at me.

"Is the song for the world cup; everyone goes around dancing it, it has a very _sensual movement of the hips_, you have to make _your whole body _follow the rhythm of the song, but well, you know Shakira,_ scantily clad girls harmonically moving their hips, bathed in sweat and enjoying it_, those are things we always see in her videos." I have a terrible urge to laugh at Nanoha's face.

"Ah…" was all she said, I think she'll have a stroke.

"Tell me, sweetie, do you like the Waka-Waka?"

"Waka-Waka? Emm… umm… Waka-Waka?" Oh god, she must be thinking amazing things right now.

"Of course, Waka-Waka."

"The song?"

"What else could I be talking about?"

"Of course… there's nothing else… yes, the song is good… I like… the Waka-Waka… the song." I let about five minutes to pass in complete silence before attacking again.

"How would you like your honeymoon to be?"

"WHAT?!"

"Your honeymoon, if you're planning to have one, but in any case you better want with me." You're entering a complicated zone Fate, Nanoha could really hit you if she feels cornered.

"With-honey-I don't- what? WHAT?" Now Fate, train her!

"Are you going to tell me that you've never imagined…" I grabbed a pencil "… how the person who makes your heart beat faster, starts to take ownership of every corner of your body, starting here" I put the tip of the pencil on her neck "biting and licking, making you tremble with pleasure and anticipation, so that afterwards, their lips go down your shoulders" I traced the whole path with the pencil "leaving a small trail to show that you belong to them and no one else; that your moans would never be caused or heard by anyone but them… are you going to tell me that you've never imagined how their hands caress you breast, how they mold your legs or how they would make your whole body move to the rhythm of your breath" I have to spend less time on the internet "Tell me, Nanoha, have you ever thought how that person's breath would feel…" my voice was losing its volume, until it turned into a whisper "… in your hair, in your ear and finally…" I started to approach her "… finally, in the only place that makes you feel complete, that everything's fine" closer "… their breath taking yours…" even closer "… before touching your lips." TOO CLOSE! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! BACK OFF! BACK OFF!

I moved back with a speed I didn't think I had and looked at Nanoha's face, she was speechless, pale, her eyes wide opened, what the hell did I just do? Can anyone tell me what in the world I was thinking that made me approach her like that? A little bit more and I… Nanoha and I… OH MY GOD!

"Oh, lo-look a-at th-the ti-time," Holy virgin of lemon trees! Fate Testarossa Harlaown doesn't stutter! Why am I stuttering? "I have to take Arf to the vet, so, I should to get going, but I'll finish what little is left at home, I mean we already know what we need to write and wellImgoingnowbye!" I grabbed my stuff, grabbed Arf, who had done nothing but sleep and bit a toy, and fled out of there like bats out of hell, I said goodbye to my mother-in-law, I apologized for not staying and walked down the street, almost running, extremely confused.

What the hell happened? How could I get so close without realizing it? Of course, the training surely went well, but that was not in my plans… training Nanoha is such a short time is getting out of hand, would the same thing had happened with Teana in the same circumstances? Something is not right, I'll never again train someone that fast about sex.

* * *

Moday, Hayate went to the office again happy like every start of the week, in my case, because of a certain someone I couldn't sleep the entire weekend and my face looked horrible.

"Hey people, I have a great idea," Hayate said "How about we make a video where we're all doing the Waka-Waka?"

Nanoha went blank and I swear to god that I almost had a heart attack.

"What, was it something I said?"

* * *

**T/N: **I don't know if I've said this before, but I love translating this story, it's so funny. I hope you guys are liking it as much as I am, also you better not miss next chapter, there'll be someone new, who'll Fate's rival. Who could that person be, I wonder?

But anyway, don't miss it, It'll be awesome. And don't forget to Keep reviewing, they're always a good encouragement. :D


	8. Checkpoint

**Checkpoint: The Daughter of the Devil**

I decided, both for my physical and mental health, that I would return to the initial training I had planned for Nanoha. I stopped calling her all those nicknames and stopped doing all the other stupid things right after the "Waka-Waka incident", and returned to the everyday mental tangles with the glorious blushes and glorious stammers.

I was riding the school bus, happily and wide awake, after two hours of restorative sleep, staring out the window as we went pass several cars and houses, which, knowing them since I was ten years old, are an important part of my life… or at least they would, if I could remember them. However, from time to time, I spend the ride looking intently at the road on our way to school, it's one of those inexplicable feelings I sometimes feel and which tell me "Fate, look out the window something amazing is about to happen today."

And one of those feelings came to me today expecting to find something different, besides, today everyone was way too quiet, Subaru apparently didn't have much sleep last night and fell asleep on Teana's shoulder who, after blushing and panicking, seeing she couldn't – or wanted – to take her off of her, she let herself go with the pleasant warmth and smell of the usually energetic girl and also fell asleep. In the end I didn't have the heart to wake them and mess with them, so I took a few pictures with my cell phone to have fun with later. And it wasn't just those two, all the children were sleeping and Caro found a way to snuggle with me; usually I would yell at anyone who did this, but Caro is so moe, and I was in such a good mood, that I let it pass without worrying too much.

Since we weren't reaching the school I assumed that we would go to Erio's house, but then Linith turned onto a street I didn't know, but that somehow seemed familiar, until we reach a house which for some reason caused me great nostalgia. I felt as if I had been there before, for a short time, but I can't remember… I can never remember anything, either I was born with amnesia or I don't have enough space in my brain to store information.

From the house, which still had me intrigued, came out a girl, maybe a few years younger than Caro, blonde and with different colored eyes, one was burgundy, much like mine, and the other one was green. What was that trait called? Heterochromia? Yes, that was it.

The girl got in and sat next to Vita, and the second the girl put her back on the seat, Vita awoke and didn't sleep for the rest of the ride. Which was very strange. Vita must have sensed something to stay awake.

We arrived at school. While everyone woke up I felt someone watching me, I looked to the front and there they were, those two different colored eyes, looking directly at me as if waiting for a response, the only thing I could think of was to wave, but I was completely ignored and the girl jumped off the vehicle, could I have done something to her and now she has come for revenge?

Once outside my arm was grabbed and pulled down, where I found my face in front of Vita.

"Fate" she said as serious as she has rarely been "she's evil." Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

"Who's evil?"

"The bicolor shorty" it's funny that Vita calls someone a shorty, she is in ninth grade and still looks like a nine year old. "don't laugh with that stupid face, Fate" oops, she caught me "this is serious. She. Is. Evil."

"Okay, okay. I'll remember it." I'm going to forget in five minutes.

Five minutes later, I had no idea what I had done before been where I was now: in front of my locker taking out papers and several love letters. Although, regardless of that, I was happy for some reason; partly it was because Nanoha's training had progressed well and today I had specially planned to make a certain thing happen, get her to say something and then contradict with something else; but even without that, I would still have been in a good mood anyway. So, while doing that, humming a song, I turned around ready to go to a fun day of Monday classes, when out of nowhere appeared in front of me the girl with bicolor eyes, looking at me so penetratingly, that if looks could kill, I'd be in hell.

"Did you need something?" identifying subject: Filler girl number four hundred and fifty- something.

"Fate Testarossa Harlaown" she said. She knows my name, I hope she's not a fan "I want you to have one thing clear," squeaky voice, childish attitude, can I go now? "I will be the one to train Nanoha Takamachi" yeah, yeah, good luck… wait… what?

The girl, after giving me a look of contempt, turned around and left.

Some reader better come here and explain to me what just happened, because I didn't understand anything. Let's see, recap: I got up, made breakfast, got in the bus, the girl got in the bus, we reached the school and then she comes out of nowhere to say she wants to train Nanoha… I still don't understand exactly in which part of the morning we became rivals 'cause I didn't realize.

At least I'm taking it easy, it's not like I'm going to panic just because someone else wants to train Nanoha…

WHO AM I KIDDING? IT'S HORRIBLE! Where did that brat come from? Is she a tsundere trainer? Why does she know about Nanoha? Why does she know I'm training Nanoha? Is she allied with the TSAB? Is she better trainer than me? And most importantly: WHO IS SHE?

If my memory serves me correctly, according to the honor code of tsundere trainers, it's completely forbidden for a trainer who respects himself to take away a project from another; simply because exposing a tsundere to more than one training method may lead to a disaster – Yandere – due to the imminent metal pressure that it would generate. Well, it's not like there's qualified inspectors checking that the rules are followed, I mean, we are an anonymous internet organization, the only things that differentiates us from a normal forum is our military and scientific way of speaking, anyone can break the rules if they want.

The threat is imminent, by her young age I deduce she hasn't trained any tsundere before, probably this is the first time she's going to try something. Why risk facing someone like me? It's also weird that she knows my name, I mean, I'm popular in school and everything, but on the internet my trainer name is "Bardiche", and as far as I know I've never disclosed it to anyone; that's not the kind of information that I would have on Facebook so to let everyone know, neither in the TSAB do they know my real name. How could that girl associate everything? And how did she know my target was Nanoha? In the internet she's simply "Project: Raising Heart".

There's something strange going on here, that girl simply knows way too much.

The day went by normally, except that halfway through the first break, a bunch of Playboy pages started falling from the sky – guess who's fault it was – and after that we had a sex-ed class. But regarding Nanoha, the usual thing happened, she acted according to the training and I heard nothing more from the filler girl number four hundred and fifty-something. Eventually, I realized that it wasn't worth panicking, at least until she made a move.

* * *

I was calmly heading out of the school with Arisa and Nanoha – who was still thinking of a way to beat me in one of our verbal fights – when a few seconds later, the filler girl came running with her arms outstretched shouting "Fate-saaan" as if she knew me from a lifetime and we were the bests friends in the whole universe. No people, I don't understand anything, either.

Anyway, when she was seven steps away from us, an "evil ant" appeared and she fell with her face flat on the ground, where she started crying. The girl then looked up, staring at the three of us.

"Fate-saaan~" she said with teary eyes, is she talking to me?

"Fate-chan, aren't you going to help her?" What? Nanoha please, I myself, patented the technique C-0921!

"Fate-san, help me~" Why does she keep up with that? It's obvious I'm not going to do it.

Then I realized it, I wasn't her target, the technique C-0921 was known for being able to awake the maternal side of a tsundere. She was after Nanoha!

I tried to react and stop **"MY!" **– notice the quotation marks, capital letters, exclamation point and bold – tsundere before she fell into the claws of the little demon lying on the floor, but it was too late and by the time I realized it Nanoha had already run up to help the little one, so much to my annoyance as to the happiness of the shorty.

"There," said Nanoha as she stood up and shook clean the little demon, Nanoha what the hell? How could you fall for such a cheap trick? If I had been the one to fall, you would surely have realized I was faking it.

"Thank you," said the girl with a fake moe voice.

"What's your name?" Who cares?

"Vivio"

"Nice to meet you Vivio, my name is Nanoha" there's no need for self introduction, I'm sure she even knows your measurements.

"Nice to meet you, Nanoha-san"

"Do you know Fate-chan from somewhere?" No.

"Well, the truth is that we've taken the same school bus for years," That's a lie! You just got on today! "I thought we were friends… but… but…" she's going to start crying, oh no, I better stop this.

"Time out, time out" I said "Okay, Nanoha, you're not going to believe what she's saying, are you? I really don't know her at all, and it's obvious she fell on purpose to get your attention."

"It doesn't surprise me that you don't remember her, you always forget about the most important things."

"Not true! Arisa! Tell her that's not true!" my said friend, the one who should have supported me, simply looked around scratching her head, I'm surrounded by traitors!

"Vivio," Nanoha said "do you go home alone?"

"Yes" but what a coincidence.

"Would you like to eat a chocolate cake with me?" What? You're not serious, Nanoha? You invite her to your house on the first day? And I, who have been your friend for years, you've never invited me to anything! Well, maybe not years, but you've never given me anything that I haven't gotten on my own with my blackmail ability!

"I don't know, my mom told me not to go with strangers!" And the little brat even dares to play hard to get.

"But I'm not a stranger," Nanoha said "I'm Fate-chan's friend."

"Don't use my name for your pedophile affairs" oh no! I just said something very stupid!

"My. What?" Nanoha glared at me, I'm going to die!

"Nanoha! Wait! I spoke without thinking!" Nanoha straighten up and began to approach me, I looked to the side, but Arisa had already escaped… I'll resort to begging "Don't kill me!" it didn't work… reverse psychology! "You wouldn't hurt me, right? Nanoha?" Damn it! "Cutie pie?"

* * *

After going to the nurse's office, where I got some ice so I wouldn't get a bump on the head, after helping a granny cross the street and after helping a lost kid find his mother, I could finally do the only thing I've been wanting to do this whole time: follow Nanoha and the bicolor shorty.

I found them at Midori-ya, but I didn't go inside because then it would be too obvious that I'm following them, so I hid myself behind Frank – the homeless guy I asked for directions the day of the mission impossible and whose name is not really Frank, I just call him Frank because in the movies the homeless guys are always called Frank – so while he begged for money, I was watching, with some binoculars I stole from somewhere and from an amazing distance of ten feet, my tsundere and the brat.

They laughed and talked as if they were the best of friends ever, almost like family. What the hell does that brat have that I don't? Could it be the green eyes? Well, if it is then I'll go buy a contact lens right now. Besides, she's a complete stranger; I don't know how Nanoha was raised, but I was taught that strangers are dangerous no matter how old they are… but knowing Mr. Torso and Shotgun Dad, it wouldn't surprise me if Nanoha ended up in jail with charges of terrorist attacks.

However, then only thing they seem to be doing is talking, I haven't noticed any trick or strategy to train Nanoha, in fact, not a single blush has appeared on the cheeks of the target… but I shouldn't eliminate the possibility that the bicolor shorty is only watching her to take any mental note on my progress and so she can deduce my training method. If she succeeds, she can undo it completely and train Nanoha again as she pleases… it could also be that I'm being paranoid… I need an opinion.

"Hey Frank," I called my homeless friend softly due to the sensitivity of the question I was about to ask, "What am I supposed to do if code 7 from section 6 of the oath TD-0001 is apparently violated in a case U-0032 without any crucial proof?"

Frank looked at me as if I was a freak; I didn't understand why he was doing it, I just wanted an answer.

"Umm…" Frank began, "you could use the maneuver F-7493 under code 5 from section 2 of the oath TD-0002. Maybe that can fix things." I figured then that Frank was either high or drunk, I mean, what person in their right mind would advise me to use a flying cow to take over the world with the milk business using the excuse that roses are pretty and I love chocolate?

I stopped thinking about Frank when I saw my shorty nemesis coming out of Midori-ya… alone. Okay, she probably lives nearby and so she told Nanoha not to go with her, what a perfect opportunity for me. I left my hiding place behind Frank – with whom I left my binoculars – and ran, a bit crouched, on the sidewalk in front of Midori-ya until I reached my enemy. I grabbed her arm and made her look at me in the eyes.

"Alright little girl, you're violating the TSAB's main oath, five offenses away from committing a federal crime" and don't even think I'm going to let this go without reporting you.

"Federal crime, yeah right, I'm seven years old and have the underage power on my side." This brat does know how to defend herself. "And now let me go or I'll accuse of child abuse."

I let her go not wanting to make it any worse, and we stood face to face staring at each other's eyes as if we had mentally decided that the first one to blink lost… this makes no sense…

"Listen, Vivian"

"Vivio"

"Whatever, you're messing with someone you shouldn't mess with."

"We'll see, _Fate-chan_" and with that, the shorty turned around and started walking away. Officially she pisses me off.

* * *

I got home exhausted as I've never been before, I felt my head was about to explode if I kept on thinking, and the worst is that no answer came to my mind, all the contingency plans I knew were made to face trainers with experience, age and height superior to mine… or for any unqualified love interest.

How to face the childish tenderness I lost years ago? Could I behave as an abuser and threaten the shorty, but that's not my style and knowing myself I would feel guilty afterwards. And going around beating and threatening someone, simply doesn't' fall in the category of a tsundere trainer; this fight is on a mind level, more specifically a fight for Nanoha's mind. But honestly, on my own I won't get anywhere…

"Fate, is something wrong?' my mom, the only person who understands me, I know that if I have a problem I can count on her.

"No mom, it's nothing." Which doesn't mean I'm going to tell her everything that goes on with me. Tsundere problems can only be solved in one place.

_**Username: **__Bardiche Assault_

_**Password: **********_

…_**Error. Username and Password are not registered.**_

Damn it, six years logging in on the same stupid site and I always get the password wrong.

_**Username: **__Bardiche Assault_

_**Password: **********_

…_**Welcome to the Tsundere Social Administration Bureau (TSAB), you are free to use any services you may need.**_

Once you get to the homepage of the TSAB you're greeted with all the important news: they could be modifications of any communication code, the publication of a strategies' text or several other things that would interest a tsundere trainer.

Then there's the forum, by general agreement we all speak English, but you can always find some topics on different languages. The forum is where the paraphernalia mainly occurs and there are different sections for everything, whether to report any progress, discuss strategies or just sit and talk about anything

This time, I headed to the Q&A section and started a new topic:

_**User: **__Bardiche Assault. (Captain)_

_**Topic: **__Violation of oath TD-0001_

_A few days ago I filed the report number 7 on Project Raising Heart, the results obtained were to be expected and the technique for the dere-dere development on the state romantic-intimate was a complete success._

_The obstacle that has appeared has nothing to do with the target, it is about a U-0032 event. I have no conclusive evidence regarding the case and do not know the ID of the obstacle. I would need documented support about what strategy to use, I had thought of using an M-1990, but the truth is that the obstacle has the C.C.A, which complicates things. The target was completely deceived by a maneuver C-0921._

_**User: **__Graham. (General)_

_**Topic: **__Violation of oath TD-0001_

_If I were you I would abort the mission, it is obvious that neither will give up. You could ask permission to use the Larc-en-Ciel._

_**User: **__Asura~Mod~ (Admiral)_

_**Topic: **__Violation of oath TD-0001_

_Larc-en-Ciel? You're crazy. __We are not in the presence of a Y Alert. It is not required. The only thing that Bardiche has to do is make sure that the obstacle does not put mental pressure on the target, it is important to maintain the initial training system with added protection; this would imply not leaving the target alone not even to go to the stool collector, but everything is for the salvation of Project Raising Heart._

_**User: **__Bardiche Assault (Captain)_

_**Topic: **__Violation of oath TD-0001_

_I do not think I can make the added protection, my physical health would be in great danger._

_**User: **__Asura~Mod~ (Admiral)_

_**Topic: **__Violation of oath TD-0001_

_Then try to stay near the target when it encounters the obstacle, the presence will serve to mark territory. Nor is it as if the obstacle could make a plan of attack to get you out without arousing suspicion; it's not like they have an army to attack you._

Yes, Asura's right, it's not like she's going to leave me locked up in a room because I was kidnapped by an army of children.

* * *

I can't believe I've been kidnapped by an army of children.

The thing went something like this: I was in my locker, doing things that should only be of my interest without disturbing or getting in the way of anyone, just like a normal teenager, when once I turned around to go to class, since supposedly that's why I come to school, appeared in front of me, again, the bicolor shorty to start staring at me as if expecting me to say something. Now, since I couldn't care any less if she was there or not, I decided to go pass the brat to get to my class without problems as every student has the right to do so; but when I had the brilliant idea of passing by her as any common human, the shorty shouted "NOW!" and an average amount of thirty brats, not older than seven, jumped on me, making me fall and without the ability to stand back up. There, they groped and touched me in places I hadn't expect to get touch until marriage, they made sure that I wouldn't escape and started to drag me on the orders of my blond nemesis.

Now you're probably wondering something like this: How the hell were they not stopped by the teaching staff or any of my fans? Well that's simple, because every time someone passed by, the mass of children would get all over me and shout "I love you!" so all the nuns said "awww, what a great friendship there is between the students in this school!" and my fans would start with their "Kya! Fate-san is wonderful with kids!"

Definitely I hate this world.

This situation had been going on every day for the last two weeks, they kidnap me in the morning, during breaks and in the afternoon before I leave. They take me to their classroom and leave me there, they aren't mean with me, in fact, we play, sing and spend a good time together, and I thought that becoming friends with them would help me and they would let me go, but everything went backwards and now they don't want to leave alone and look for me without fail whenever they can and the worst thing is, that while I'm locked in the dungeon my enemy spends that whole time with Nanoha!

"Do you want some candy?" offered me a girl sitting next to me, today was quite different, the kids would present a play in the school gym, so everyone was dressed as pirates and would talk to me excited about the role they were playing. They moved from here to there playing with swords or practicing their lines.

"Yes, I want some." In reality the kids are good people, a bit psychopaths, but good people none the less.

Time passed and it seemed that the teacher in charge of the kids would not come today because apparently she was with another group in the gym. Which means I'll have to stay here until who knows what time. I wonder how I'm going to explain to my teacher that I was late to class because I was kidnapped by a group of pirates.

"So," said another kid getting my attention, "the high school students will see the play first" so Nanoha will be at the gym… I have to get there.

"Look, I have Fairy OddParents!" all the children looked out the window and I stood up and ran out the door at full speed on my way to the gym with thirty pirates chasing after me.

I went in without much difficulty, I think I hit a nun on the way here but that doesn't matter much. I hid behind the giant boat scenery while the pirates were looking for me and then, I saw them, very comfortable among the crowd of people, laughing just like the time I spied on them at Midori-ya.

Then the worst thing that could ever happen in my life, happened, Nanoha stopped laughing, looked at the shorty with a surprised face and… god, this is really hard to say… Nanoha… blushed.

Don't make that face, because it's not funny, it hurt me, it hurt me more than when I had to refuse to go try the fights simulator 4.0 with ultrasensitive motion sensors and 3D visualization; when I saw Nanoha blush it was as if someone had taken away all the air around me, my chest hurt, my throat felt dry; the thought of losing my tsundere to someone else made something grab my stomach and move it up and down causing me to want to throw up… and to fell anger. Fury. So much that I stopped being myself….

_The next scene contains a lot of violence not suitable for children under two, because they don't know how to read, everyone else can read it without feeling guilty but we all know that it's obvious that this warning will not make you close the page… by the way, since I lost all my ability to think rationally, this scene was obtained after five hours in a bar getting Hayate drunk so she would tell me what the hell happened._

According to my informant, five minutes before the start of the play, the lights went off, and when they turned back on, I appeared on the mast of one of the boats, with a shirt halfway open, a headscarf, an eye patch and pants that came up to my knees. My fans screamed like crazy, I made a hand motion that instantly shut them up, then I shouted pointing towards Nanoha and the shorty.

"Game Over, bible, I'll pay you back a thousand times for everything you've put me through!" while that happened, the little girl – who was dressed in a captain suit – jumped up and yelled back:

"IT'S VIVIO!"

"For all I care!" with that the shorty pulled out her plastic sword and came running to the base of the mast, where she pointed the tip of her sword towards me and said:

"I'll make you pay, Fate-chan! You are one and my pirates are thirty!"

I fixed my scarf and said very seriously and solemnly "It's CAPTAIN Fate-chan to you" after that the theme song of the Pirates of the Caribbean started playing, I grabbed a rope and, like Tarzan, crossed the scenario to fall – stupidly and accidentally – on top of a boy from who I stole a plastic sword.

Then started the fight between the shorty and me; we started to slash each other with the swords and block attack like Musketeers; from above and behind me came more pirates to stop me, I grabbed one of the sails and threw in on top of them, leaving them trapped all while I was still fighting with my nemesis, which took us to the back of the boat where we passed behind the scenery, went up a staircase and ended up fighting in the mast while all the crazy teenagers screamed.

Up there I, unintentionally, stumble across a lightning cable, which made me throw my sword, my enemy saw her opportunity and attacked with a straight stab to my heart, but I grabbed her sword before it touched me – it was plastic after all – I pushed her and took it from her, my enemy was on the floor and I was pointing the tip of the sword directly over her nose.

"It's over, Venonat" I said.

"It's Vivio…" said the girl about to cry.

"Like I care" I raised my sword in the air, ready to cut her in two when out of nowhere I felt a sharp pain on my face and when I realized it, Nanoha was in front of me with an outstretched hand.

The pain from the slap made me regain my usually excessive ability to think and react. I then noticed Nanoha's look of fury and the bicolor shorty sitting on the floor with tears in her eyes. How could I do that to a little girl? What right did I have to judge her? I felt like a monster, I know exactly how it feels to be hit without being given an explanation and now I had done the same to a little girl.

"Umm… er… I…" I tried to say to start apologizing.

"How could you do that to a little girl?" Nanoha started yelling "all she wanted was to be your friend!" my… friend, "She talked about you all the time, about how she admires you and how she wants to be like you!" I can't answer "She lost her parents! All she wanted was for you to acknowledge her!" she…

My nemesis then stood up and ran out of the gym, Nanoha ran after her and I was left there, standing like an idiot, not knowing what to do, should I apologize? It would be the most reasonable thing to do, but she started it, she should apologize too… no Fate, you're seventeen, she's seven, she's entitled to act immaturely and learn from her mistakes, you're not. Even if she deserved everything that happened for messing with Nanoha, you should talk to her – remember her name – and find out her real intentions.

Okaa-san and Onii-chan would be very disappointed if they knew that I acted in such a way. What should I do?

I left the gym, and right there I was caught by the principal, who cheerfully asked me to go with her to her office. I had no other choice, I had to take responsibility for going around destroying scenarios and scaring children.

On the way there I tried to find Nanoha or the shorty, but I reached the office without seeing anyone, I really felt like a piece of trash without justifications.

The principal made me go in first and the moment I entered she closed the door behind me, then I found the bicolor blonde sitting in the office as well… principal you traitor, she did it on purpose; even if I had used the last three paragraphs to show how sorry I was, it didn't mean I was ready to apologize.

The girl didn't even looked at me in the face and all I could think of was to sit next to her. There was no one else in the room, the atmosphere was getting heavier, but neither of us dared to stand up and leave… I really didn't know how to start talking, I could still see the trail the tears had left on her cheeks…

"Harlaown-san… I'm sorry" the girl ended up being braver than me… I don't like to be called Harlaown-san.

"No, _I'm_ sorry, I shouldn't have scared you like that," there, I said it, it wasn't so hard, but I still need to know something. "Tell me, why did you want to train Nanoha?"

"I didn't want to train Nanoha-san, I don't even know how to train a tsundere." What? Then how did she know about the TSAB and my identity? "I…I've always watched at you, and about a month ago you started to be very close to Nanoha-san… then I accidentally found the TSAB while surfing the internet, I saw the report on Project Raising Heart and realized that it described the same attitudes that you had… so … I just connected everything." So she discovered me using simple observations; amazing. "I've always admired you, Harlaown-san, I just wanted to be like you."

"You don't have to admire me, I only dressed like an idol once."

"It's not because of that," then why? "I … just thought that… since I had nothing left… I might be able to belong somewhere… and…" the girl couldn't finish, she just started to cry in silence.

Seeing her sitting there reminded me of myself, no wonder the house where she came out from made me feel so nostalgic, I was in that same place about eight years ago. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and from there two photos, one showing a girl just like me and a woman with dark hair, the other one showed Chrono, Lindy and me… my family.

"I had a twin sister… two minutes older than me," I started to talk without looking at girl. "Her name was Alicia, she was very kind, but her body was weak, and she died when we were a little older than five… my mother, my real mother, was called Precia Testarossa, she was very friendly… or at least she was until my sister died." Remembering this is horrible, "She… always loved Alicia deeply, everything was always for Alicia and I didn't really cared, if they were happy so was I," it's painful… but, for the sake of this girl… "When Alicia left, she took my mother's smile with her and left me only her hatred and bitterness. She used to think I had taken Alicia's life away, that if I hadn't been born she would have never died." Those little eyes were watching me, I could feel them, "after Alicia's death, my mother got sick both physically and mentally… so…" I can't tell her, she's only seven years old, "so…" I can't… I don't want to remember…

"It's okay…" I heard a voice and felt a hand on my shoulder, when I turned I saw the principal next to me and Nanoha standing at the door… Nanoha… I wonder how much she heard.

The principal sat in her comfy chair and looked at us with her smiling face – she never gets angry, no wonder Hayate hasn't been expelled – "Fate-chan entered the children's home under our congregation just like you, Vivio-chan," right, that's where I wanted to get, "Like you, she lost her family… she was lucky because she was there for only one year and the then was adopted by the Harlaown… by the way, how's Chrono-kun?"

"Uhh… fine," I said the first thing that came to my mind, she always asks about Chrono, he was a very good student and they almost, almost, convince him of becoming a priest.

"As I was saying," the principal continued, "Vivio-chan lost her mother and since then she has been in the home, attending this school for free and preparing herself as best as she can for when she reaches adulthood… now, apparently a problem has arise between you two, do you mind explaining what it is?"

Sure, let's explain to her how we're fight over who gets to train Nanoha and how we use different mental manipulation tactics, yes, very normal, very understandable, she'll believe us.

"Umm, I wanted to make friends with Harlaown-san," my guilt companion began to talk, "but someone told me that she was only able to make friends with a person of whose name she could remember," well, that's true. "and that she only remembered the name of people who did something amazing to attract her." who told her just nonsense?

"Who told you that?" I asked.

"She's a friend of yours, Hayate Yagami." The three of us released a sigh, it had to be Hayate, no wonder the shorty knew so much.

Having said who was real culprit in all this mess, the principal let us go with nothing but a detention and some community service. We went to get out uniforms – my fans were fighting over mine – and after that we sat on the grass under a tree; the shorty, Nanoha and me.

"Hey," I started talking referring to the shorty, "I know what it feels like to be alone and not knowing where you belong, and actually, I know I can't offer you a family but…" I looked directly at her bicolor eyes, "Would you like to be my friend, Vivio?"

Her eyes began to fill with tears, Vivio started nodding vigorously, in the end she couldn't hold it anymore and launched over me breaking into tears as the little girl she is, apologizing and everything… how cute, even Nanoha looks like she's about to cry.

"Can I call you Fate-mama?" I dropped her faster than I thought possible.

"What?"

"Well, I don't really like Harlaown-san, so I thought that since we're family now I could call you Fate-mama."

What the hell is wrong with this girl? "Hey, I'm not your family and much less your mother."

"But you can adopt me."

"I'm not going to adopt you, I'm seventeen and it's illegal."

"Adopt me when you're eighteen."

"Look, to adopt someone you need to have economic and family stability, and I don't work or are married."

"Then, get married with Nanoha-san."

"And why would I want to marry Nanoha?"

"She has a bakery, with that you cover the economic stability and if you marry her I could call her Nanoha-mama."

"First of all, that's illegal in Japan, secondly, if there's not a great deal at stake, it's not worth marrying someone unless you're in love, and thirdly, Nanoha is not your mother and we're not going to adopt you."

"You're not very optimistic, you are going to support me, right Nanoha-mama?"

We both turned to look at Nanoha and only then did I realized how horribly red was my tsundere, not even when I trained her in sexual relationships did she had such shades of red on her face, she's probably going to faint.

"Nanoha-mama, are you okay?" Vivio asked.

"M-m-m-MOM! With F-f-" Nanoha looked at me and she blushed even more, this is worrisome.

"Nanoha," I said as I approached her with the intention of taking her temperature, even in a tsundere such a degree of red is not good, "are you o-?" I didn't finish the question because a punch sent me flying to the ground.

"P-p-pervert!" and with that, Nanoha stood and left. WHAT THE ***** I DON'T DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT *****! I wasn't even training her! I demand an explanation! Why was her tsun-tsun so activated? It's not like… ah…

"Vivio, what did you tell Nanoha in the gym to make her blush?"

"Umm, I asked if she knew the Waka-Waka," this girl is gifted.

"Vivio"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to learn how to train a Tsundere?"

* * *

**T/N: **I bet none of you actually thought Vivio would be Fate's "rival",right? well the first time I read it I didn't thought so either. Anyway, now we know a bit more about Fate's past, but there's still a lot more to come, trust me. Also this chapter is a good example of something I mention at the beginning of the story about the moods suddenly changing, we went from funny to serious to nostalgic and then back to funny, too many emotions for one single chapter. And now that Vivio has appeared in the story we're going to learn about how to become a tsundere trainer, that'll happen next chapter, plus some good NanoFate moments. So thanks for reading, and leave a review please, anything's good, as long as you're not mean :)


	9. Mission: Date

**Mission: Training the trai-**

"Hey Fate, wanna come with me to the library?" Chrono said interrupting my thoughts.

"I can't, Chrono, I already have plans."

"Is it a date?" Why does he always assume that?

"No"

"Because remember you can't have a boyfriend until you're forty."

"It's not a date."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to the children's home to spend the day with a little girl."

"No teenager does that; surely it's a date," what kind of reasoning is that?

"Chrono, for the last time, it's not a date."

"Is it someone I know? Are they older than you? Is he your teacher?"

"Chrono, you went to the same school as me, you know the only teacher's there, are nuns, women, in case you don't remember."

"So you're going to have a date with a nun?" Seriously, can he be any more stupid… now where was I? Ah, right, the mission.

**Mission: Date (wait… what?)**

After explaining Chrono in detail why I had no intention of going on a date, I left my house that Sunday morning on my way to the children's home to meet my tsundere trainer apprentice, Vivio. In the end, she turned out to have the gift and it would be quite useful for me to have someone continue the tsundere training when I leave school. So, I promised that I would go see her every Sunday to give her training lessons so that she could take the TSAB exam and become a true and authentic tsundere trainer.

Today was the second lesson, the first one was to simply show her what the work was about, explain that analyzing and understanding the target was the most important goal, and to tell her that, while most trainers had an unhealthy obsession with tsundere girls, we couldn't forget that our lives weren't based on that, and that we had to be successful in other areas as well.

Today, I had planned to start the lesson as it's supposed to start, by teaching her the most important terms, the basic structure of the training and the most important codes of the oaths TD-0001 and TD-0002.

It was still morning when I got to the home, I crossed the outer door, which was always opened – nice security from the nuns – and then rang the bell on the inner door where some nun opened the door.

"Good morning, Fate-chan," the lady is staring at me, maybe she wants me to greet her… but I don't remember her name, I think it started with He, Helga? Hermione? Hellion?

"Hello, he…" Hermadintopia? "… healthy sister of the door who is very friendly and always receives me with a smile" Ha! I was saved with that, you're a genius Fate.

"My name is Marina, Fate-chan," oops… "Vivio-chan is in the backyard."

"Sure, umm… thanks, Sister Marine," I don't know why I think I got it wrong again.

I walked down the long hallway inside the house – it actually formerly belonged to a wealthy gentleman who donated it as home for children many years ago – until I got to the backyard where I saw Vivio playing with other children some weird game that could as well be called "let's see who hits themselves hardest against the wall"… children.

"Fate-mama!" yelled the girl with different colored eyes when she saw me, which caused everyone who was watching to look at me as if expecting me to open my arms and ran off to hug the girl… which I OBVIOUSLY wouldn't do even if I got paid.

Eventually, it was Vivio who ended up running to meet me, opening her arms and hugging my waist like a koala hugs its eucalyptus – and that you know when you watch too much animal planet –. And right there and then the little girl started telling me in a rush everything she had done the previous day, a habit she picked I don't know why, but which helped me realized that either kids this days spoke very fast, or my hearing was not as good as it used to be.

I stopped Vivio's rambling by placing my hand over her mouth and then _I_ started speaking:

"First of all, hi; secondly, don't call me mama 'cause I'm not your mother and I will not adopt you, thirdly, when I take my hand off your mouth, you're going to talk at a speed that is understandable and about things I'm in-EWW! DROOL!" I removed my hand to find it all went with body juices belonging to a seven-year-old shorty. One of these days I'm going to kill her… but first I'm going to clean my hand on one of those habits hanging over there.

Once done with my personal hygiene, I turned towards Vivio and reminded her that we had to start the training.

"By the way," she said, "I told everyone about being a tsundere trainer and they all want to become one, so… you have to train us all!"

"What?!" I knew I had to tell the brat not to tell anyone about it, now everyone wants to sneak in.

"Come on, it's not so hard, wouldn't you like to have an army of trainers to continue your legacy?" umm, I dunno, this requires a thorough analysis of the advantages and disadvantages that would come with having an army of tsundere trainers.

**Advantages: **Many

**Disadvantages: **Few

There, project approved, now all I have to do is organize the… hey, wait a minute, is it me or Vivio is always surrounded by armies?

* * *

It took me twenty minutes to get the kids to calm down since many of them needed to go the bathroom or the nurse for hitting themselves against the wall; but after that and considering that they were twelve, I arranged them in a 4x3 square with Vivio in the front right hand corner since she would occupy the rank of sergeant.

"Very well, recruits." I started talking, "these will be your permanent positions while on this squad; from this point on, I stopped being Fate-san to you and Fate-mama to a certain other, to pass to be called Captain Harlaown, understand?"

"Yes!" they all said in unison with their childish voices.

"And from now on, every time we meet in training and you address me, you'll use the word 'sir', understand?"

"Yes, sir!" they learn fast.

"Very well, recruits, rest!" and all the children fell to the ground… I take that back, it'll be harder than I thought.

After teaching each one of them how to react to every one of the indications I said, after letting them go to bathroom again and after playing who hits themselves harder against the wall – it's a pretty fun game actually – I continued with the initial idea of making an army of tsundere trainers.

"All right my new recruits, I inform you that while I'm present there will be no greater authority than mine, if I'm not here and we're still in the middle of training, then it will be Sergeant Vivio who is in charge."

One of the kids raised his hands, so I let him speak, "Why is Vivio-san the one to be left in change?"

"Because I'm very cool and Fate-mama's favorite." Vivio answered without being authorized.

"Don't think too high of yourself, Vivio, everybody knows I'm better," said another kid.

"Yeah right, better at peeing your bed," said someone else and everyone started laughing… nice discipline, ugh, time to get serious here.

"Silence!" I yelled, "I don't give a dime about the urinary problems of my recruits and if Vivio is left in charge, it's simply because she's one lesson ahead." I looked directly at my sergeant, "NOT because I'm her mother or something… and if someone surpasses her, they'll take her place immediately."

"I'm going to tell Nanoha-mama you're been mean!"

"WE'RE NOT YOUR MOTHERS!"

* * *

For the third time I had to calm down the hustle and re-teach them what to do at every one of my indications because they had already forgotten them – I don't know how long my patience will last –. Finally after they were ready and in order, I started the lesson.

"Sergeant Vivio!"

"Present, Sir!" _finally_ she got it, all the previous times she had said, "What's up blondie!"

"Tell the rest of the recruits what is the TSAB's motto and therefore of every Tsundere Trainer."

"Sir, the motto is: pretend, persuade, manipulate, trick and run for our lives, siiir."

"Correct," I continued, "attention everyone, you've gotten into veteran territory, being a tsundere trainer is not like playing with dolls; if you really feel prepared raise your right hand and say: yes, sir!" no hands went up and everyone was staring at the floor with doubtful faces… this isn't good, "… and I'll give you candy." as if they had rockets, all the hands went up along with a loud, yes sir!

"Very well, then I'll start the first lesson: Important terms to know," everyone looked at me expectantly, all excited and eager to learn.

"Recruits, while there are many terms to be learned, they can all be read on the TSAB website, I will just explain the ones that are extremely important… the first one of them is the one that brings us together: Tsundere.

Tsundere is a word from the internet, which is used to mainly define girls who have a tough personality on the outside and are shy on the inside, comes from a combination of the words tsun-tsun and dere-dere. The tsundere state, begins from an unjustified fear to express the true feelings of a person, this fear, which causes can be varied, creates a barrier between feelings and the outside world, which means that while the tsundere might be thinking about a certain thing, they end up acting in a way that has little to do with what they are feeling. Our mission, as tsundere trainers, is to create and strengthen these barriers, seeking weaknesses and improving them with different mental tactics, understood?"

"Yes, sir!" said all my students in unison, they looked excited and put all their attention on what I said… I think I'll send a draft to the UN so they can start teaching this in schools.

"The second term is, Love Interest, referring to the only person who is completely immune to the barrier of a tsundere, to the love interest, any secret can be revealed with the use of a little intelligence… the problem is, that the love interest is always an idiot unconscious of love and will never realize that they are the love interest until the tsundere herself yells it in their face. That's why it's the duty of every tsundere trainer to use the love interest intelligently when it appears, so we can ensure a more thorough training for the tsundere.

Our third term is, TSAB, better known as the Tsundere Social Administration Bureau, which is where all the tsundere trainers gather to discuss issues about their projects and how to act. Also, in the TSAB, you can find information about anything you can think of related to tsundere trainers." A hand went up. "Yes? Recruit Big Teeth."

"Sir, how do we know a person is fit for the training?"

"Very good question, Recruit Big Teeth, you've earned one more day of free oxygen." I motioned my recruits to follow me to a room that had a blackboard, where I indicated them to sit down in the same arrangement they were in. Then I grabbed a piece of chalk and started with my typical scribbling on the blackboard.

"All right, listen to me very carefully," I said "identifying a target is not a thing of just one day, it takes at least a month to be fully confident that they are fit for training. However, there are a couple of things that we should take a closer look at, before really considering the possibility of training the target:

The first things is, neatness; never, ever in the nevers of never land, will you find a tsundere, or someone fit to become a tsundere, with a hair out of place… of course, that little hair that never stays down no matter what, doesn't count. But in everything else, a tsundere will never get dirty unless it's a favorable situation.

Another thing that never fails is the excessive formality that a tsundere has with strangers, if there's a lack of confidence there's also a lack of blushes and actually, they look like those perfects girls who have no time for love. Of course that, when confidence appears, our prize also appears, along with punches, fights, dangerous approaches to the lips of the target and fathers with shotguns." The kids stared at me a little weirdly… I'll better ignore them and continue. "With those two things, you can consider it a good observation, some things can vary and perfectionism can also be seen among the things they do… but listen carefully, the main thing, the one that assures us whether the person is suitable for the tsundere training is the overreactions to different situations. Could someone tell me why?" only Vivio's hand went up.

"Because… well, I guess that if the condition causing the tsundere state is the barrier and the barrier is not there, then the feelings are not been restrained by anything… maybe…" I've said it before, but seriously, this girl has the gift.

"Correct." Vivio's face lit up. "exaggerated feelings are easier to manipulate, which helps us get in the state of Observable Confusion." The little girl nodded vigorously.

I continued the lesson talking about other random terms, until I simply ran out of ideas about theories, so I decided to move to the practice, which consisted on showing them the procedure of the training of a tsundere right before their eyes… yes people, of course I'll use Nanoha.

I told my plan to the kids, who jumped of joy, then I sent them to look for all the things that would be necessary for the mission – binoculars, food and a notebook – they all ran out, screaming like the children they were, they kicked out a nun and a girl fell down flat on the floor, but apparently no one cared.

Then I felt someone pulling the lower part of my shirt, I looked down and found my star student and assigned sergeant staring at me… which was never a good sign, I bet she's up to something, better get in defensive mode.

"Fate-mama… are we going to where Nanoha-mama is?" she switched to mom mode, I don't like this.

"Yes… that way I kill two birds with one stone, why?"

"Just wondering…" yeah right, whenever someone says 'just wondering' something bad ends up happening.

There was an awkward silence for two minutes, in which I planned every possible way to defend myself against… against anything really.

"Fate-mama, can I ask you something?" NOOOO! Why that phrase? Along with 'we need to talk' and 'there's something important I need to tell you' are the group of things that no one ever wants to hear. They ruin your day and are always a warning that something's wrong.

"Sure, what's wrong?" it's not as if I had been able to avoid it.

"What happens if the tsundere trainer becomes the love interest?" Was that it? Thank god, for a moment I thought she would ask about my dark past… I mean it's not like I have something to hide, in any case, that cop was going to leave his job one day.

"That's impossible."

"Why?"

"Because tsundere trainers don't understand the meaning of love." Vivio looked at me with a face that I couldn't decipher.

"That is… painfully cliché."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah right, but you are a tsundere trainer and love your family and friends," And who told you that I loved them? No just kidding, I do love them, I love you mommy, please don't take away the internet again, Arisa, you and your game I love them as well.

"I'm talking about the love that couples feel; listen, tsundere trainers can train a tsundere because of this condition, we're not interested in anything romantic that love can mean, we're only interested on the scientific part of it, physical, the brain impulses caused by feelings and which causes a person to act in a specific way."

"So, for us feelings don't exist."

"I didn't say that; feelings do exist, in fact they are what we use to work. What does not exist for us is the ability to understand the love between a couple. We understand friendship, loyalty and everything else, but apart from a hormone that appears at twenty-five, what a person really thinks when they are is love, what they feel and how they came to it, is a mystery to us."

"Okay, but you still haven't answered my question." Damnit, and here I wanted to end this by adding senseless information.

"I'm telling you it's impossible."

"But the love interest depends only on the tsundere, it's she who decides who she's going to love, that the trainer can't love has nothing to do with the decision she makes."

"Sure, but the fact that we can't understand love makes us look at it intently, we know exactly what love causes" see list of stupid things in chapter 7, "so if the trainer were to become the love interest, they would realize it instantly and immediately begin to plan something so the tsundere stops feeling what they're feeling."

"Why would it not be convenient for the trainer to be the love interest?" I'm getting tired of explaining…

"It's prohibited under the first code section 1 of the oath TD-0001, meaning, that it's the first law, the most important thing of the main oath, breaking it means expulsion." Vivio was silent, stopped asking, simply nodded and left to find the things she would take for the mission. I went to the door still thinking about the little girl's questions.

It's normal for someone new to be curious, but it's also unusual that after only the second class she has a question as specifically directed to a point like the relationship trainer-tsundere-love interest; it's as if she had that question in her mind for a long time… well… at least my patience lasted until she shut up.

* * *

The laws of tsundere trainers are usually unbreakable, but most of those who do it eventually get away with it, unless you break the first one, that one will eventually be known and don't even think that another tsundere trainer will ever speak to you again if you do it. It's not that we're been exaggerated, we just want to protect the tsundere, besides, we already have the experience… we wouldn't be so overprotective for no reason.

A long time ago, long before I joined the TSAB, what Vivio mention, happened, and the tsundere trainer became the love interest, at first everyone was happy, thinking that this way the training would be easier, so everything moved with the same protocols as always, however, as more time passed, the tsundere fell more in love with the trainer and when finally the training was over, the trainer, who was never able to return the girl's feelings, just continued with his next target. This shattered the heart of the tsundere, who demanded an explanation from the man, but since he didn't understand what love was, he could never communicate properly with her.

Finally, in a desperate attempt to make the tsundere forget about him and so he could continue his life as it had been planned, he ended up telling her everything about the TSAB, about the tsundere trainers and how she was nothing but a project.

No one really knows what happened afterwards, rumors say that the girl couldn't bear to think that her life was lie or something… but whatever happened, it wasn't good, it only caused pain and since then the first two laws are: "Do not become the love interest" and "Never reveal anything about the TSAB to the target."

Well, enough with stories, now, where was I? Of course, the test mission.

My squad came back, with backpacks and with painted faces – I don't know what made them do that, but it gives them a nice touch – ready and willing to start the mission. We left the home and as we walked down the street in the direction to Midori-ya, I began to explain what we were going to do.

"Recruits, as I already told you, I'm in the middle of a training process, it's not a common one, it's a race against time and therefore I must apply a grueling training every day and even with that, I still think that the weekends are a waste of time; but now that I have you, every Sunday we'll train Project Raising Heart, it'll be good for you and good for me."

We arrived at Midori-ya and settling in our positions behind the natural smelly fortress better known as Frank. The kids took out their notebooks, binoculars and food to then turn to listen to me carefully.

"Recruits, today's mission is simple, everyone has to go in and get a blush from the target, you can use any of the tactics I taught you today." I love this, if I'm lucky Nanoha will blush twelve times and I won't even have to move a muscle.

"Yes, sir," said the kids at a volume in accordance to the mission.

"Well, Sergeant Vivio, you first."

"What? No! Why me first?" because I want to play with a safe card, that way I'll make sure Nanoha is susceptible enough for when the other eleven go.

"It's the duty of a sergeant," and reluctantly Vivio left her things, from where I took the binoculars and then the entire group, including Frank, began to follow her with our eyes as she entered Midori-ya.

Nanoha was helping with different things for what I could see, she was arranging sweets that came out of the kitchen inside the cabinet, packing some things here and there, moving by the cash register, attending the occasional customer… and I don't like the way that the guy in the corner is looking at her. Who does he think he is? If he's not the love interest, he has no right to approach her.

"Sir," surely he's some pervert, I bet he doesn't even have a favorable family situation.

"Umm… sir," he totally looks like an idiot, probably he's one of those losers who've only had woman contact with their mothers and watch porn in the basement while eating junk food.

"… Fate-san," and it's not like I want to insult people who are like that, it's just that it really stresses me the way that pervert is looking at Nanoha.

"FATE-SAN!" Huh? I saw a group of kids staring at me, and who are these? Ah! Right! The mission! Silly Fate, how could you forget about that.

I cleared my throat and noticed how Vivio had already started talking with Nanoha, so I started telling the rest of the team what was going on.

"Pay close attention recruits, now what Sergeant Vivio is doing is asking the target about her day, that way she can recognize the weaknesses and where to attack to get a blush," then Nanoha smiled, "She probably threw a joke to lighten the atmosphere and thus lower the defenses, so now comes the attack and the result," and just as I had said, Nanoha stopped smiling and in her face appeared a blush level two. All the children released an "oooh~" and Vivio came out of Midori-ya smiling, leaving Nanoha dazed.

Vivio finally got to where we were, amid the applauses of her companions – and Frank –. She sat down, I gave her back her things and asked her to tell the rest of the recruits what procedure she had used to get the blush.

"Well, first I had to know how she was emotionally," Vivio started, with a military low voice, "So I asked her how her life was doing and things about the bakery," well done Vivio, "the conversation turned to the families that used to go out on Sundays, and how she could never do that with her family because of the bakery, then I noticed there was a way to attack," I can already imagine how, "and I told her we could go out together, after all she was going to adopt me," I'll let that go just this once.

"And with that she blushed?" I asked.

"No, she just laughed a little and said she was free in half an hour and that if I wanted we could go out somewhere." Wait a minute…

"Then… what did you tell her to make her blush?"

"I said: I'm glad you're free 'cause Fate-mama told me she would come look for you to have a date."

"And she blushed?"

"Yes, sir"

"See recruits, that's what…" wait… processing information… starting air loss… heart attack in progress… verbal vomiting in 3… 2… 1…" HOW COULD YOU EVEN THING OF DOING-DON'T YOU-?" I… can't… breath…

"Fate-san is dying!" somebody call a doctor…

"Let's run now that the police is not here yet!" I see… a light…

"Frank you traitor!"

"Fate-mama! Fate-mama!" only… darkness…

* * *

I woke up in a beautiful place, full of birds signing and I couldn't remember why I was where I was… until I saw a burgundy eye and another green one looking down at me, and then, like a flash all the memories came to my mind and along with them a murderer instinct I didn't know I had, fully directed to the shorty who was on top of me.

"I'm gonna kill you!" I said launching at her with serious intentions of choking her, who cares if afterwards I get in a lawsuit, I'll just pretend I have dementia, I'll stay locked up in a clinic for a couple of years, I'll recover and reintegrate into society as an accidental killer… or that had been the perfect plan if Frank and the kids hadn't stopped me, yelling at me to calm down and think coolly like a good tsundere trainer. Hell with that! Don't they realize what the brat has got me in to?

Eventually I ran out of energy and desire to kill, and ended on the floor wanting to kill myself, why do I want to continue living if all my efforts of the incredible amount of a little more than a month were about to go to hell thanks to some brat? Am I really needed in this world? Is this a signal sent by a higher power for me to kill myself? Who are we? Where are we heading? Why are we here?

Okay, calm down, I have to think coolly, the problem here is that Vivio got me into a date with Nanoha, and the only person who can have a date with a tsundere in training and not die in the attempt is the love interest; but that's not the only thing, that which could be easily solved with anyone by just canceling, is not possible with a tsundere, she'll remember for the rest of her days that you invited her to a date and forever wonder why you didn't go. Her confusion will be so great that she'll eventually distance herself and put a wall between you and her… thing that as a trainer, is not good… but even worse yet, if you go on a date with a tsundere without being the love interest, you run the risk of creating a anxiety disorder in her mind, which will cause uncomfortable situations and ultimately a rejection, which also ends with distancing and the Berlin wall.

So we lose in any case, great, just great.

I looked at Vivio, it's not like it's her fault anyway, it was my responsibility for sending an inexperience person to do such task in a tsundere who's older and under an intensive training, when it was obvious that Vivio's C.C.A is only effective with matters such as the one she used.

I have to accept it was my fault, and along with that, I can't lose Project Raising Heart. For my honor and the honor of all tsundere trainers who give me energy, I have to face the problem with the famous technique L-0021 also known as "Let's board, boys!"

Is it me or I just went through Kübler-Ross' five stages of grief?

I send my recruits back home, telling them there was no need to worry, that it wasn't their fault and that with experience this wouldn't happen again. Once alone – I gave Frank some money so he could go elsewhere – I focused my mind a hundred percent on seeing how to get out of this situation.

How to go on a date that seems like a date but that isn't a date because it doesn't seem like a date? It would be easier if I knew about the philosophy of dating and how a date influences the date mood of person to determine if the date is a successful date or a failure date. Taking that into account, I could have a date that isn't a date if I do date things that aren't common on a date; and from what I've heard that Chrono does when he's on a date, it all has to do with going to watch a movie because apparently movies are a basic thing during dates.

I conclusion: It can't be considered an official date unless I take the target to the movies, so if I keep Nanoha away from a movie, I'll be safe, it'll just seem like friends hanging out and I wouldn't lose my tsundere training.

And so, happy with this crystal clear thoughts I had with respect to dates, I entered Midori-ya and saw Nanoha arranging cakes on a tray. The atmosphere was quite calm, there were some empty tables and the conversations didn't seem to rise beyond ten decibels.

"Hi," I said cheerfully, Nanoha turned around and looked at me confused.

"Fate-chan, what are you doing here?" that answer I wasn't expecting.

"Didn't Vivio tell you like about a half hour ago…" I didn't finish the sentence because all the rainbow colors appeared in Nanoha's face, starting with purple and ending a very intense red.

"S-so… I mean… I-I thought… was it serious?" NO! Damn karma! Was I some sort of dictator in my past life? All this time Nanoha had thought Vivio was just joking and here I come like a big idiot to make an appearance where I haven't been called. If I had been a coward none of this would be happening.

"Well, if you're busy I can come another day…" I have to get this off of me, I have to get out of here before this escalates.

"Fate-chan, how have you been?" said a girl with glasses, "do you remember me?" No, who are you? What do you want from me? Why do you talk to me like you know me? "I'm Miyuki… Nanoha's sister," Who?

The stranger who knew me sighed and looked at Nanoha curiously, "What's going on here? Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Nanoha was quick to answer, "Fate-chan was just leaving, right?" Nanoha was trying to avoid the embarrassing situation, normally I would take this chance to train her but right now I really, REALLY, want to get out of here.

"Yes…" don't say anything stupid Fate, don't train her, don't train her, "I was about to ask Nanoha out…"What? Fate! Why did you say such stupidity? To train her obviously! "But seeing she's so busy…"

"Not true, I can replace Nanoha," AAAAARGH! Why did she have to be a good sister? "Go ahead and have fun."

"Um… I don't think…" Nanoha started to say.

"None of that, you have the right to have fun once in a while," interrupted the other, "besides," she looked at me, "Fate-chan is eager to go out with you, that's why she came all the way here, right?" No, I don't want to, I won't, nuh-uh, never, even if I get paid, definitely not, negative, no matter how great is my trainer instinct, I swear I'll never, ever…

"Yes." MOUTH YOU TRAITOR!

* * *

While I waited for Nanoha, I started hitting my head against the door hoping to provoke myself some traumatic brain injury, or at least, until I got rid of all the stupidity inside me.

Nanoha came down from her room, dressed in light clothing and a bag with who knows how much stuff inside, her family sent us off with a smile and I left with my favorite tsundere amid an awkward silence, because of course, it's not like we could be comfortable going out on a date which I myself insisted to have because I'm a big idiot who couldn't control her tsundere trainer impulses. I wasn't normal for Nanoha because I wasn't her love interest and it wasn't normal for me because I simply didn't know anything about dating, I mean, that's something the love interest is supposed to take care of.

"Umm… where are we going?" Nanoha asked as she walked beside me, with the striking intention of lightening the atmosphere.

"Anywhere is fine," I said. "as long as it's not the movies."

"Well… since you were the one who asked me out, you should have the picture ready," for some reason I feel like the moment one of us says the word "date" something very bad and uncomfortable is going to happen. And, how did I end up asking her out? It was an accident. An accident.

"I have nothing planned… but let me think of something," something that doesn't seem like a date, a place without couples… discarding parks, McDonald's, malls, cemeteries. What could it be?... mmm… that's it! Of course, what chemical equation cannot be balanced? Girls and games!

I grabbed Nanoha's hand without much thought – because now that I think about it, I shouldn't have done it – and started practically dragging her to the place that had come to my mind. She demanded to know where we were going, but I was so excited about my idea that I didn't listen to anything she said.

When we got there, I released her hand and stood in front of her with my back to the place and screamed full force:

"Welcome to… 'The Castle'!"

"Fate-chan there's only video games in there," I know, isn't that awesome? It doesn't seem like a date at all.

"How dare you simply call it video games, in here lies all the excitements of an Arcade with several type of entertainment that give you virtual tickets to redeem afterwards."

"But for that you need a card and I don't have one."

"Relax my lady, that's why your faithful servant and companion has this you see here," I said pulling out of my pocket a 'The Castle' pass-card that allows you to use the facilities; and since I'm part of the platinum club, I have fifty percent discount. "Come on, it's on me."

"If you say so." Nanoha replied reluctantly.

Inside it was full of people who were SINGLE and of groups of FRIENDS looking for some fun time, whether it was in racing games, bumper cars, arcade, some shooting things, hitting the crocodile, DDR, baskets… many things in general.

Nanoha looked a bit confused by the excess of neon colors that filled the place, so she didn't know exactly what to do when I asked what game she wanted to play first, which allowed me to freely choose the first activity.

In some shooting game, I started a single player game since Nanoha said she preferred to look, I didn't care much and started killing all the enemies that appeared on the screen, collecting points and advancing easily as a true expert. Then I looked to the side and noticed Nanoha's bored eyes looking at the screen… no… this time I won't fall for it, I have to let her get bored, it's not a date, it's not a date… stupid nobility.

"Want to play?" I asked.

"I don't really like video games." Blasphemy!

"Do you know how to play?"

"Of course I do, but I see no fun on killing a bunch of pixels," sinner! Woman of the darkness who dares to insult the only entertainment for many people. I have to change those thoughts of yours, or I stop calling myself Fate Testarossa Harlaown.

"If you see it through the eyes of some boring teenager, then yes, it's just a bunch of pixels… but when you play, you stop being who you are to become who you want to be." I grabbed Nanoha's arm and forced her to take my place, complete ignoring her protests and making her take the gun. I stood right behind her, with my hand over hers on the trigger and whispering the words that would change her mind.

"Now you are a soldier, prepared to defend your people, the adrenaline running through your body, your heart is beating a mile a minute while you are in this game of dying or killing…"

"Fate-chan, this is stupid," I pressed my body even more against her, resting my chin on her shoulder and staring at the screen. A few enemies started to appear.

"Feel the electricity coming from the trigger, feel yourself being superior to those in front of you, hold your breath and when the time comes…" they were very close, five of them, two above with parachutes, the other were right in front, "Shoot!" with the five bullets died the group of five pixels.

"See how you can also do it," I said with a harmonic tone while moving my body off of Nanoha's.

"Of course I can, I just think this is bor-"

"HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE!"

"Over my dead body!" and Nanoha killed an innocent group of pixels giving them three shots in the chest.

In the end, with each new enemy, Nanoha burst with the trigger and destroyed the brain, clavicle or private part of whoever came in her way with such precision and skill, that a circle of onlooker began to form behind her shocked and silent – because god saved anyone who had the brilliant idea of interrupting her while she was saving the world –.

Nanoha eventually reached the final boss, and after shouting a few insults and using all her cartridges, she managed to find his weak point and win the game. Then she jumped, danced, hugged me and once she realized she was hugging me, she quickly let me go, cleared her throat and said:

"It's wasn't that much fun," I love that she's a tsundere.

I then took Nanoha to the DDR, where I convinced her that the most important thing was not play fast, but take a step with each arrow, keep the rhythm and pray that people didn't gather up to see how you make a fool of yourself.

After that and throwing balls into holes – Nanoha has an amazing aim – we ended sitting in the food court, which was nothing but a couple of tables in front of a lady selling ice cream. Speaking of which, I want ice cream.

"Don't even think about it, you'll get sick." Nanoha said, noticing that I was staring at the twenty flavors, oh! There's three new ones! I have to convince her to buy ice cream.

"Nanoha, in my years of experience eating ice cream, I must say that too much of any type of game, plus a creamy sugar substance, is perfect to increase your extrasensory ability by 0.000000001%." Scientifically proved I must say.

"Fate-chan, at least wait until your body returns to normal."

"Yes grandma, it's obvious that you know how to have fun." I know reversed psychology won't disappoint me.

"I don't want to get sick for some nonsense."

"Nanoha, the only reason humans are in this world is to get sick for some nonsense." Also to become a tsundere trainer, but that's another matter.

"You're worse than an eight year old."

"Come on, are you going to tell you never crushed cookies, cereal, cakes and anything else to mix it with ice cream and pour all the sauces you had in hand?" As tsundere as she is, she probably has never done it.

"That's disgusting and it would be unbearably sweet." I knew it.

"Nanoha, you have to learn to enjoy things a little more, get sick for not obeying a few food rules, step on the grass where you shouldn't, look at the clouds and imagine a war between them…" I think the Japanese flag appeared behind me while I spoke… but maybe it was my imagination.

"If I buy the ice cream will you shut up?"

"Sure." That was fast, even though I'm using simple reverses psychology… don't tell me Nanoha likes breaking the rules of formal life and wont' admit it. Great, easy tsundere training.

We both stood up and went towards the lady who looked at us with a smile that gets her money.

"I only want one flavor." I let out a gasp. If Nanoha is going to be acting tsunderely better take advantage of it.

"Boooriiing~" I said with a tone as stressful as I could, which caused Nanoha to frown slightly.

"Why don't you choose if I'm so boring?" Finally! All the rookies get out of the way and let the master handle the situation.

"I want the twenty flavors, with chocolate sauce and a dollop of cream." The lady looked at me with wide eyes, as if waiting for me to tell her it was a joke. Nanoha's mouth fell open, preparing to stop me, but since I couldn't let that happen, I once again used reverse psychology. "… unless, of course, that my friend here has a gelatin stomach and doesn't dare to do it."

"Don't put words in my mouth." Round of applause for me.

We got a bowl full of ice cream balls, with cream and chocolate sauce, plus a huge package of napkins and spoons. And believe it or not, with the discount we got it turned out to be a reasonable amount of money – although for me, any amount is little just to see Nanoha act tsunderely –. Then we went back to sit down both with spoons in hand and we looked at each other as if waiting for a signal to start eating.

"We're going to end up with diabetes," Nanoha said.

"SUGAR!" I yelled and buried my spoon all the way to the bottom, pulling out everything I could and taking it to my mouth at a breakneck speed… and guess what… yes, brain freezing.

"AAAARGH! My brain tissue! The taste and freshness of the ice cream betray my body!" I said as I massaged my temples, "God of ice creams show me the way!" and before getting fully recovered I buried the spoon back in and did the same process.

I then noticed how Nanoha was laughing on the other side of the table and something made time stop… I didn't know how to define it at that moment, somehow it was magical yet strange; I think it came out of a mixture of the typical "Nyahaha" characteristic of her and those blue eyes that seemed to glow in a way I've never seen. A gorgeous glow that called me to keep watching and that took my breath away. Even so, it wasn't just that, when Nanoha took her spoon to her mouth, appeared the same charm that left me staring at her like an idiot and with drool practically falling because I couldn't close my mouth trying to decipher the mysterious enigma of the attractive force I was feeling towards Nanoha at that moment.

What is this? Why can I not stop looking at her? What the hell is so special about this tsundere?

And so, with the strength of a hundred horses the divine illumination came to me. Because the only reason that I was mesmerized with her is simply that, Nanoha was divinely moe when eating ice cream!

Seriously, it's not that sweet moe of Caro, it's like a moe… I don't know, it's like… like that feeling when you…damnit, I don't know how to describe it… it's like that thing… not like… you have to see it, it can't be put into words or record it, you have to see it live.

"Fate-chan, is something wrong?" even her voice sounds different with the moe effect, is this the legendary moe point of Nanoha? That which every tsundere has and for which you have to observe her directly for almost a year to discover? Because in case you didn't know, every tsundere, in between her dere-dere, she has a moe point. It lasts for only a little when it comes out and certain conditions must be met, but the results…. I'll get a nosebleed if I stay like this.

"It's… just… I… you…" And my words? Nanoha, give me back my communication skill! I need it to get the most sublime blush of my life. "You… are…" Come on brain, I know you can do it.

"I am…?" I took a deep breath, I had to get it out now or never.

"You look gorgeous eating ice cream" Nanoha opened her eyes wide and blushed. I almost died right there by the excesses of moe. It wasn't a level five, which is the highest; it can't even be described in some level… it was delicate, her cheeks were only slightly pink, but her eyes were bluer than ever.

"Th-thanks" the moe moment was gone, that's the usual stuttering. Now there was a different atmosphere, it was lighter. But without moe, things changed.

"This really is magical ice cream," ability to speak recovered… initializing routine systems…

"Are you implying something?" reversing dere-dere… applying slight tsun-tsun to reach the steady state PNPA.

"Well since the ice cream is nice, everything around it looks nice." Nanoha threw a bit of the ice cream on my clothes.

"Hey! What did my shirt do to you?"

* * *

"This game is really simple, when the crocodile comes out, you hit it." I said as I slid the card to start the game. "Since we're two it'll be easier, but then you'll have to do it alone."

"Okay, I'll take care of the left side," we were in front of the hit the crocodile game because, although Nanoha won't admit it, since we got out of the bumper cars – where she almost killed me – she had been staring at the machine with a curios face and since I was the one who invited her, I could at least give her the pleasure. Of course, she denied a million times that she wanted to play with the crocodiles with the excuse that it was very childish, so to lighten things I said it was me who wanted to play. In the end, I played a game alone, I offered Nanoha to try one game with my help and she accepted a bit too fast and with a bit of excess energy.

There were five crocodiles to be hit, we each went to one side and the crocodile on the middle would be hit by whoever got it first.

The game began, the slow start and considering that I only had to deal with two and occasionally three of them, made me get distracted looking at Nanoha. Who had her head down, completely focused on the plastic reptiles she had to hit. She really looks cute when she's like that…

… wait a sec…

I just said, WHAT?

And not only that. What was that description made two pages back about the concept of Nanoha's moe? Holy virgin, so many cheesiness that came out of my mouth… or mind… no, out my mouth also; even if it was for a blush as a tsundere trainer it was horribly cheesy and embarrassing that I told her she looked… that she looked…damnit, I can't say it again! And rightly so, if said that it was because my brain turned off and I acted on instinct. If I would have thought about it, I wouldn't have said it and I wouldn't have shared an ice cream with Nanoha. Those are things done by couples, damnit! What the hell was I thinking? Oh, right… NOTHING.

I just lost the initial concept of "not making the date seem like a date", this date does seem like a date and that is NOT good. I don't care if I'm having a great time or if Nanoha gets in moe mode, or if she looks at me with those addictive and deep blue- FATE, CONTROL YOUSELF!

Okay, enough, I'll ignore Nanoha and focus on hitting the crocodile, one, two, one, two, two, one, two, one, one, damnit the crocodile in the middle! Wow, what a soft crocodile, it even has a nice warmth… stupid cliché life, it was obvious this would happen.

I looked at my hand, just to check that evidently I had put it on top of Nanoha's. I looked up, and saw Nanoha also looking at our hands… why are we not moving?

"Umm… Fate-chan, can I get my hand back?" I move away from where I was, Nanoha simply turned around and didn't look at my face. What's this atmosphere? I don't think I'll ever want to play crocodiles again.

"Look! A stuffed fox!" Thank you, Nanoha, for changing the subject and running away to the redeem store; that way you give me time to organize my thoughts.

Nanoha looked at the animal – which, by the way, didn't seem special at all to me – as if was the cutest thing in the world and a valuable collector's item that only Indiana Jones could get. I guess that's part of the dere-dere side of every tsundere.

"It reminds me of you," Nanoha said looking at me with a smile… okaaaay.

"What does that fox have that I have?" and please, I expect a completely logical answer to my question.

"Well, foxes are usually cheaters, cunning and like to make jokes." Ho, I thought she had a better opinion of me. "Is there one that reminds you of me?" payback time.

"No, there's no white devils here." I got hit on the shoulder not very delicately because of that. "If you want we can redeem it, I have too many points, I never redeem anything."

"Really?!" Yes, but don't make that face because it makes me what to mess with you.

I handed my card to the guy at the desk so he could tell me how many points I had, when he saw the number he began to cough uncontrollably, to retch and pray in another language.

"M-miss, you have… three hundred thousand, eight hundred points." Wow, that's what I get for playing here since I was ten and only redeeming a one hundred points candy. The fox Nanoha wants is one of the most expensive and it only costs twenty thousand… oh well, I don't want to make it look like the fox is very important so…

"Then I want everything." I said without hesitation.

* * *

The night had fallen and I walked on a quiet street, beside Nanoha, towards Midori-ya. She was carrying the fox – which after much discussion it ended up being called Chuck Foxy Big Ears Carrot Face, I don't know why – in her arms and I with a red cart filled with stuffed animals, candy, toys and other things for pranks.

We arrived at her house, we stood at the front door and again appeared that awkward silence and the feeling that I had to do something in this part… but I don't remember what it is, and I don't want to remember.

"What are you going to do with all this things?" I don't know, I just got them to make the fox look less important and so it didn't seem like something of a date; in fact I don't want any of this.

"I'll give it to the kids in the children's house, they'll take more advantage of it than me." And so they stop hitting themselves against the wall.

"Sure… um… well… I live here."

"Yes… I've noticed… I also live in a house." What kind of stupid conversation is this?

"It's late already… I better get in… my house"

"Sure… uh… good luck" If I were to get a prize for being an idiot, I would lose it for being such an idiot.

"I… Fate-chan… it really… was fun."

"Yeah, I had fun too, I'm glad I had a date with you." Nanoha blushed and then I realized that I had said the damn word I shouldn't have ever said. Jesus, it's all over, this is where I finished being a tsundere trainer, there's no escape. And the worst things is that Nanoha isn't saying anything, not even stammering. What do I do? Do I say it was a joke? Yes, I'll say it was a joke, I'm a fox right? Everything is a joke…

When I was ready to say my speech, I was stopped by a warm sensation on my cheek, which ran through my body and made me calm down in a second. When it was gone and the coldness returned, I saw Nanoha beside me, embarrassed and as red as ever.

"See you tomorrow… Fate-chan." And with that Nanoha got in her house.

* * *

"Attention all tsundere trainers, there's a report on a sensation not cataloged in sector 4 of the body, known as rib cage. Uncontrolled beats have been caused that are pushing hard on the myocardium as well at the pericardium, the lugs had difficulty following the rhythm of the heart and getting to a constant breathing. Current mental state, blank, the brain has trouble concentrating and coordination simple tasks such as walking or talking, proceed to activate some system to assist on resuscitation."

Or something like that was what Vivio said about my state before the excess thoughts running in my head made me faint.

What was I thinking? Well, remember that part of the chapter in which I said that only the love interest could have a date with the tsundere without dying in the attempt? It seems I was wrong; but it wasn't being wrong what made me fall to the ground inert.

It was the fear of thinking that I could be wrong about something else…

* * *

**T/N: **Hi everyone sorry for the delay I've been very busy lately and didn't have internet for like a month so I couldn't post this chapter earlier. But anyway I don't have much time so I'll be brief, I really hope you like this chapter I really enjoyed translating it, so yeah um next chapter will be about Fate and Yuuno's past history, what could have possibly happened between them? well you'll know when I have time to translate it and post it, um I have more things to say but don't have time so I'll leave them for later, anyway, please review! and thanks for reading :)


	10. Racconto: Yuuno Scrya

**T/N: **Hi everyone! It's been a very long while, hasn't it? well I'm very sorry for the delay, too many things have happened lately, but anyway, I've had this chapter done for like two months now and hadn't upload it earlier because I wanted to update my three stories at the same time but judging by how I'm doing right now, I don't think that's gonna happen soon, so here's this new chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did :)

* * *

"So, Fate-mama, have you ever accepted a confession?"

"Did you have to choose this exact moment to ask me?"

"Have you ever?"

"Yeah…"

"And how was it?"

"Horrible."

**Racconto: Yuuno Scrya.**

It's been about four days since my date with Nanoha, and the truth is that things haven't changed much. We talked as usual, argued as usual, she kept on hitting me as usual… no, wait, I think she has been hitting me more than before… and harder.

Anyway, the day after the date – Monday – I arrived with a terrible face of defeat due not only to my fainting, caused by brain overwork, but also because I decided to party all night after the date with all the kids. I ate lots of candy, I played hit yourself against the wall nonstop for thirty minutes, we had a stuff animal's war, we didn't leave a single nun without some strange substance over their head and I learned the art of eating peppermint candy, nachos and ketchup… all at the same time.

But that's not the point, the point is… that on Monday, as any other Monday, Hayate wandered around with her evil plan, which was an engineering miracle in the shape of blueprints; with which she would build a machine in the gym that would cause anyone who sat in the benches to get hit by a green paint balloon – I don't know where she gets all these things from and I don't wanna know –. And she forced me, Fate 'the one who could barely move' Harlaown, to help her, because according to her, with my popularity she could make my fan club build her machine.

I can't really remember how I accepted to do such… thing. But we never built anything, because thanks to my bad condition and a moment of stupidity, while filling the balloons with green paint, I dropped one, instantly pooping. Hayate shouted "Paint War!"and you can imagine what happened next…

And that's how Hayate, a group of fans and me have been cleaning the gym with toothbrushes for almost three days, always after school until nine pm, under such inhumane condition that not even Jesus had to go through. For example, we can only leave to go to the bathroom, the visiting hours are from 4:00 to 6:00 pm, we can never stop brushing while we're in the gym, we can't eat, we can't sleep, we can't sneeze and we can't even beg for mercy.

And today, Thursday, Vivio had the great idea of coming to bother me and ask me such a thing. Is not like I mind answering, is just that right now I have a group of fans behind me and it's really, really uncomfortable talking about your private life with all those possessive looks over you.

"Why was it so horrible? Did something happen? Who was it?" Vivio, please, don't get me started, these girls behind me are going to rape me if I say something so out of character.

"I really don't wanna talk about it…" Then I heard a giggle coming from a few meters away, I looked and found Hayate with a hand over her mouth, barely containing her laughter. That idiot…

"Huh? Hayate-san, what's so funny?" Vivio asked, to which Hayate answered with a few hand gestures to not to ask her. "come on, I wanna know."

"Ask your Fate-mama whose girlfriend she agreed to be." Hayate doesn't understand the concept of 'dark past that shouldn't be revealed'.

"What? Fate-mama, who was it?" asked the little girl looking at me straight in the eye. Why did she had to stay today of all days? The whole week she had been leaving with Nanoha to get free cookies – it's still a mystery to me how come she gets cookies and I get slaps –. Moreover, it wasn't just Vivio, all my fans were watching me and the few guys who were also brushing seemed to be extremely interested in the subject.

"It was…" ugh! I don't wanna say it. If I do it everyone'll start laughing.

"Who was it?"

"… Yuuno Scrya" I said in a low voice and very fast, but the eco effect of the gym made my voice rumble everywhere and everyone heard it.

Silenced followed my confession and afterwards Hayate burst in laughter and along with her Vivio and everyone else.

"Okay, okay, really…" Vivio said wiping tears from her eyes, "who was it?" I remained silent, I really don't want to repeat it. "No way, was it really Yuuno-san?" I simply nodded. Everyone laughed again, this time louder than the first time.

The fuss stopped after about ten minutes in which there were still some small giggles and Vivio started to speak again:

"I never really looked up at you, but you just fell down to the bottom," she said while looking at me with a 'I'm disappointed that you did something so stupid' face. What the hell? Is it really that bad that I accepted a confession from Yuuno? It's true that my dear nerd friend is… well… a nerd; but he isn't the worst guy in the world, he's very friendly and honest… he still has a child's voice; which makes him look a bit effeminate, but I was taught that the outside of a person is not what matters but inside.

I was going through a stage in my life in which I couldn't say "no", although obviously, I never thought that saying "yes" would lead me to carrying another thing in my past that would haunt me forever.

"And what's the story?" there's no story, it lasted for two weeks, the consequences lasted for a year and I have no intention of talking about all the rehearsed corniness I had to go through.

"I can tell you about it," and Hayate had to show up to ruin my life again, "I know all the details." you mean that you made up all the details.

"Hayate, please, don't do this to me," it won't work, but in any case I don't lose anything by trying.

"Fate-chan, remember you're a public figure, you can't have a private life," and who exactly made me a public figure? Wait, I think I'm remembering… Hayate Yagami. "besides, all your fans want to know, right?"

"No" I said quickly.

"Yes!" everyone shouted. Aren't fan clubs supposed to SUPPORT whoever they admire?

"Okay," Hayate started to say, she stood up and cleared her throat, "this is an epic story about unrequited love," I'm not liking this "full of deceit, intrigue and passion" When did that happen? "but above all, it's a story that will tell us more about the past of the curvy, well toned, sexy, forgetful, airhead, sometimes insensitive and who owes me exactly 4,858 yen… Fate Testarossa Harlaown!" no wonder Hayate's always bothering me with money…

"Once upon a time, in this same school, a couple of years ago, a very cute young girl who look like a dog in heat by all the guys that followed right behind her"… it's obvious that it really bothers her that I haven't paid her. "and who despite that, didn't like any of those who followed her… no, she was interested in only one person, one that had stolen her heart from the first time she saw her… Hayate Yagami" I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to this… "Unfortunately for our heroin, Hayate was too interesting and perfect for her. But even so, since her love couldn't me tamed, she decided to reject any confession that came to her, saying that she loved someone else."

"That's not true!" said one fan still brushing, "I confessed to Fate-san and she said that she only saw me as a friend." And who the hell are you?

"Yeah!" said another boy "I confess to her every year and she always say the same thing." What? Every year?! Is it some sort of ritual or something? And why can't I remember any of those times?

"People, your experiences with Fate-chan do not interest me," Hayate replied, "I'm the one telling this story and if you want me to get to the end, then you'll shut up and accept it.

As I was saying, this girl rejected everyone who came to her and didn't want to date anyone and the next one who raises their hand to interrupt me will be kicked out…" no one raised their hand or made a move, "okay, so it turned out that because of so much rejection she ended up getting into a sort of a big problem that left her under police protection; and as much as all of you want to know what I mean, I can't tell you because it counts as evidence in a trial that happened a couple of years ago." all those bad memories… "Anyway, it turns out that after the incident, our protagonist got a fear for rejecting confessions" It wasn't like I had a phobia – lie, it was a phobia –, I just wanted to prevent the same thing from happening! "So she would do all sort of stupid things to avoid anything moderately corny; she stopped opening her locker to avoid having to read the letters, she would changed sits in every classroom and at every hour so they couldn't leave presents on her desk and she was determined to erase any confession that was written on the bathroom's doors." Don't look at me like that, I had just escaped from the claws of a psychopath, it was normal to be a little obsessive-compulsive. "but one day, this girl couldn't prevent someone from confessing to her…

"It happened earlier in the year, when she was in her first year of high school. In our class we had just received a new girl who took most of the attention" really? Who?... ah, yeah, Nanoha. "so no one could have seen that something like a confession could come from someone of our own class… but it happened." Hayate looked at me. "Do you wanna tell what happened or do I do it?" if she tells it she'll surely end up changing the story, so I cleared my throat; it was time to remember…

"Damn it! I forgot what I was going to say!" How can I have such a bad memory? I had it right on the tip of my tongue!

"I'll tell it then," damn you inefficient memory system! "It happened on a Wednesday, we were in the middle of the student council president campaign, the fight was between our ever reliable Suzuka-chan, a blondie and some other boy. Their main tactic was to make Fate-chan vote, obviously in their favor, because of the impending masses she would move. So our dear companion was covered in ads and blackmails to get her vote."

"But I've never voted in those things," I said.

"We all know Fate-chan, that's why they were trying to make you to vote," aaaah… that explains a lot. "As I was saying, in those days the fear that Fate-chan had towards corny things turned from 'wuss cry' to 'Cornyphobia'" and it's still on cornyphobia, actually. "so it was impossible for the candidates to approach Fate-chan without her imagining a whole movie where they confessed to her using political sovereignty as an excuse; so any message and blackmail had to be sent via Yuuno Scrya, who was the only friend that Fate-chan thought she was safe with." … I was a stupid brat back then. "Yuuno-kun exercised his role as the 'guardian' of Fate Testarossa Harlaown perfectly; even though he incurred the hatred of some fans, he always completed the favors asked by his friend.

"The problem was, that Yuuno-kun spent too much time with Fate-chan, and since he is a man and the body is weak, he ended up like everyone in the entire school ends up at least once…" Hayate stared at me with a small smile "he fell for Miss Harlaown.

"Just like any human being in love, he began to do all those things that humans in love do, he smiled more at Fate-chan, he got even more worried about her, he gave her a few presents, there was more friction between them…" wait a sec!

"Hayate, I don't remember any of that" no, seriously, when did all that happened?

"Of course you don't, with your attention deficit and your lack of love awareness… we all saw it… except you." What?! And why did no one said anything? I could have avoided one of the most uncomfortable situations in my life! "Don't look at me like that, we tried to tell you… seven times, but you always answered: 'you're crazy we're just friends, he's doing me a favor'" mental note: FATE, OPEN YOUR EYES!

"Well," Hayate continued, "I was saying that Yuuno-kun went everywhere with Fate-chan, since he thought he had more chances than others because of how she had turned to him for help and because they used to be good friends.

"So, one day, Yuuno-kun arrived with a message from one of the candidates, who said he wanted to talk to Fate-chan behind the school." I don't know what surprises me more, the fact that I can't remember almost anything or the fact that Hayate knows what Yuuno thought at the time. "But this, as usual, activated Fate-chan's Cornyphobia, so she didn't dare to go alone for fear that it was a confession, so she asked Yuuno-kun to go with her." I fell like a little girl into the trap. "Together, afterschool, they went to the back of the school, nobody followed them because Yuuno-kun made sure of it; and nobody in the class noticed them leaving because they were all too worried about the new girl.

"When they arrived and didn't find the person who had called them, our companion felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and got ready to leave, or that had been her plan, when suddenly Yuuno-kun grabbed her wrist…"

"OBJECTION!" Vivo yelled.

"What is it now?"

"How can you possibly know that it was Yuuno-kun who took Fate-mama out of the classroom if supposedly no one realized what had happened?" good question.

"Fate-chan told me" that's a lie.

"Not true, I didn't tell you."

"And not only that," Vivio continued, "how is it that you know exactly what the characters felt? That makes no sense, unless you can read minds." Yes, I was thinking the same thing.

"Vivio, I can read minds." Hayate answered seriously… I don't know whether to believe her or not.

"Prove it, what is Fate-mama thinking right now?"

"She's thinking about whether to believe me or not that I can read minds." Shit! She can! "Where was I? Oh, yeah… Yuuno-kun grabbed our beloved protagonist by the wrist, and so, with a blush on his face, he asked her to please listen to what he had to say." Oh! I remember that! I remember that right when he touched me, that female instinct, that I hardly ever feel, got turned on telling me that something bad was about to happen. "That's when the boy took a deep breath, looked at Fate-chan in the eye and said: 'I can't hold it anymore Fate, I… have feelings for you, feelings that if I don't release right now, are going to kill me inside'" at that moment I got panicked, all I wanted to do was run away or wake up from the nightmare I was in. "then he took Fate-chan's face in his hands, forcing her burgundy eyes to look at his green ones and said: 'I like you Fate, I like you a lot'… and Fate-chan fainted."

"You fainted?" Vivio asked.

"What else did you expect?" I said "at that moment my minds was working at two hundred miles per hour, I was between begging that he did confess to me, thinking about a lot of ways to kill him and hide the body, and analyzing millions of possible answers with their future consequences."

"It would have been enough to say no?"

"I wasn't that simple…"

"Why not? You said no to all of us" said one of the guys, referring to himself and the fans. I could explain it, but they wouldn't understand a single word; especially if I tell them what I went through for hanging out with Yanderes.

"I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret" Hayate, my savior! She's not such a bad friend after all. "At that time, Fate-chan had just rejected a girl, who was her friend, but she didn't want to accept it and a series of sad events happened – which I have prohibited to say by law – that led her to not want to be back in the same situation where she got confessed by a friend… or anyone. When she sought help from Yuuno-kun, she did it because he was the only one who had shown no interest in her, so we all thought he was immune to the school rules; the closeness they ended up having, eventually activated the boy's hormones and what I already told you, happened. This ruined the whole protection scheme that Fate-chan had in her head, and believe it or not Fate-chan is a very rational person, so the confession took her by surprise; and her body, as a defense system and so she could have more time, found no better way to protect her than by fainting." Hayate… you… know too much.

"And the story ends there?" Vivio asked.

"What story?" asked someone else, and when I noticed who it was I froze. What the hell is Nanoha doing here?!

"Nanoha-chan! Nice to see you!" No! It's not nice to see her! Nanoha can't hear about my dark past! Why? Well because… because…. I don't know why, but she can't. "Did you bring supplies for the starving convicts?"

"No, I only brought Vivo's sweater, she left it at my house yesterday" Vivio… she's so lucky…

"Thanks, Nanoha-mama" Nanoha blushed, but smiled anyway, could it be that the whole family thing makes her… happy? "Are you going to stay to hear the story?" no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Vivio shut up!

"What's the story about?" since Nanoha had her back towards me, I started to gesture Vivio to stop talking.

"It's the story about…" look at me, look at me… she's saw me! "about…" Come on Vivio, you're also a tsundere trainer, you have to be able to recognize these signs "about… a dancing fish?"… no comment.

Hayate then spoke: "I was telling the story of Fate-chan and Yuuno-kun, will you stay?" I need an excuse for Nanoha lo leave… umm… something related to school…

"Don't you have to turn in a science report tomorrow?" I knew school was useful sometimes.

"I finished it two days ago" Damn it! I forgot Nanoha is a responsible girl! And here I am with not even a sentence of it…

Nanoha ended up staying at the insistence of Vivio and Hayate, which is bad for me, if Nanoha learns about my dark past, she could find ways to counter attack my actions to create favorable situations for her… or something like that; it was the only excuse I could come up with.

"Ok, after the confession," Hayate continued "Fate-chan was unconscious for a few hours thanks to her fainting, when she awoke, she was in the nurse's office, and the first thing she saw were Yuuno's green eyes, which attracted her with its charm directly to his lips." Say what?!

"Not true!" I shouted desperate "Nanoha! Don't believe her! That never happened!" Why am I giving her explanations?

"Fate-chan, I know that didn't happen," thank god… wait, why does she know that?

"You really are interested on what Nanoha thinks of you, aren't you?" Hayate, you shut up, your opinion is worthless in this fic. "Well, Fate-chan didn't kiss Yuuno-kun, but he was the first thing she saw when she awoke, creating an uncomfortable situation for both of them, in which no one knew what to say.

"Finally, the two tried to talk at the same time, but it was my friend present here who got to talk first, and in the midst of the confusion generated by Yuuno's confession, including the fear that Fate-chan was feeling. Well, she said yes."

"It wasn't exactly a yes" I corrected Hayate "My exact words were; 'let's try and see what happens'" and yes, I screwed my whole year by saying that.

The day Yuuno confessed to me, we walked home together, because I assumed that was what was done by… well… couples. And I didn't really have a great time when he… grabbed my hand, I felt trapped and started to sweat and think that he was going to rape me or something. In the end he left me at the bus stop and before he could say goodbye, I got on quickly and without looking at anyone.

"But the best part started the day after," Hayate said "in the morning Yuuno-kun waited for Fate-chan at the school entrance, helped her with her things and when Fate-chan said it wasn't necessary, he said: 'it's the least I can do for my girlfriend' then the school collapsed" _I _collapsed "rumors started from here to there about how it was possible that Yuuno Scrya, of all people, had been accepted by the so admired and popular Fate Testarossa Harlaown."

"I heard a rumor that he was blackmailing her." said one fan.

"They told me he was a beast in bed." I have no idea, I didn't figured that out.

"I thought Fate-san was drugged." Do I look like a drug addict?

Hayate calmed things down and continued, "The point is that the whole school knew, in a record time of twenty minutes, about the new couple, thing that brought changes to both of them.

"Yuuno-kun went from being the "library ferret' to be the "pack leader" or the "alpha male." His popularity grew and everyone found him absurdly attractive and cute. He always took care of Fate-chan, helped her with her work, got things down for her," stop, I can't take any more torture "he gave her presents for no apparent reason, they were always together and generated an 'awww' in all those who saw them.

"They looked so well together, that even the school principal gave them her blessing and all the nuns made jokes about them" I hate joker nuns "and every time Fate-chan forgot about something they would say 'seems like Scrya-kun has kept you in the clouds'" Aaaargh! I so hated when they said that! I was about to kill seven nuns! "When they were in class and sat together" no… I was never alone "all eyes were on them and Yuuno-kun grabbed his girlfriend's hand whenever he could" it was horrible! That boy had a radar in his hand! No matter what, he always found a way to grab it and stroke it with his thumb, I wanted to kill myself! "The whole school started to base things on them, on how a good of an example they were, on how their love would change this mundane world" It was so cheesy, damn it! "And that their kisses were the image of tomorrow."

"We never kissed! Nanoha! I swear we never kissed!" And here I go again giving her explanations.

"Okay, I believe you…"

"What happen after the two weeks?" Vivio asked.

"What happened was what is known as the 'flying ferret day'" It was Hayate who named it. "Curiously, on the day of the elections, which were won by the blondie, we were in the middle of a ceremony to present the new policy, when Yuuno-kun asked for the microphone and used it to call Fate to the stage" I remember this, oh god, it was so embarrassing! All I wanted was to disappear. "And against the insistence of the whole school, she had no other choice.

"Once on the stage with him, Yuuno-kun said something like: 'Fate, I know it's fast and we've only been together for two weeks… but I feel like my life without you has no meaning'" insert fangirl scream here "Yuuno-kun knelt, pulled out a small box…" If I remember right, at that moment I was thinking something like: 'Shit, shit, shit, run, run, run, where, where, where, don't know, don't know, don't know, shit, shit, shit…' and so on, "and before he could say anything, Fate-chan pushed him off the stage…"

What's with this silence?

"Did you really push him?" Vivio asked incredulous. What? What would you have done if your head was been occupied by millions of 'shit, shit, shit, run, run, run, where, where, where, don't know, don't know, don't know, shit, shit, shit…' and so on?

"She didn't just push him" said Hayate "after that she shouted 'shit!', ran, stopped halfway through and didn't know what else to do"… it was pathetic. "Thanks to that scene we realized that in reality the love between Yuuno-kun and Fate-chan had never existed… at least not from Fate-chan's side."

"After that," I decided to talk, "Yuuno wouldn't even look at me, he wouldn't talk to me even though I wanted to apologize." I never begged, just tried to talk to him.

"And how did you fixed things?" Nanoha asked.

"Well…" mental dilemma, to say or not say that I had to lock myself in the men's bathroom with him so he would listen to me… no, I won't say it. "In the end I managed to get his attention and explain why I had said yes, and that my intention was not to hurt his feelings. We didn't end in the best of relationships, but it has gotten better over time."

Hayate remained telling more stories between Yuuno and me until the visiting hours ended and both Nanoha and Vivio had to go – among them was one story where we had to dress as penguins to raise funds – they lets us go an hour earlier, still with our backs hurting from brushing, and I left the rest to go to the bathroom.

"Fate?" Stand back you rape-! Yuuno?

"Yuuno, what are you doing here?" and coming out of nowhere like a stalker.

"I was studying and went to the bathroom before going home" he's a nerd, there no doubt.

"I see…" I said without much interest, then I had an idea. "You want us to go home together?" What? What's wrong about it?

"Sure" he said. And we both took our bags and started walking to the bus stop.

"You know?" I said, "Hayate was telling Nanoha and Vivio about everything we've been through."

"Really?" he replied with a smile "she sure does know everything" we both started laughing, talking with Yuuno… is like talking to a friend who is always reliable, thinks will never be like before the… well, the flying ferret incident; but we'll remain good friends… I know it.

"Fate, can I tell you something? Something that I can only tell you?" that… female instinct that I hardly ever feel, something bad is going to happen!

"S-sure" shit, shit, shit, run, run, run, where, where, where, don't know, don't know, don't know, shit, shit, shit…

"I think I…" I can feel my heart coming out of my chest. Yuuno, please, don't scare me like this…

"You think you…?" please don't like me, please don't like me…

"I think I like Nanoha…" ah…

…

…

…

SHIT!

* * *

**T/N: **So what do you think? was it a good enough come back chapter? I loved it personally, specially the ending, but anyway, hoped you enjoyed it. Now regarding my other stories, I'm working on them, really, but the chapters a too long, they seem endless and translating is not that easy, specially when one story is very sad and the other one very dark, not much encouragement there. But I hope to maybe get at least one more story updated next week, promise. So please review, thanks for reading and see you next time ;)


End file.
